Wishful Thinking

I wish I knew all the right things to say. I wish I stood out and not be just another face in the crowd. I wish I could make a difference. I wish I was taller. I wish I was beautiful. I wish I could be perfect. Maybe then someone would notice me. Maybe then someone would care. Maybe then I wouldn't feel so completely and utterly alone.

I lay here contemplating about how my world lost it's color. I used to have roses surrounding me. Now all that revolves me is replaced by thorns. I feel more like an outsider then when I had to reveal to my parents (more so to my mom) that I have feelings for women. I take that back, I had fallen in love with one woman who took it all and walked away like we had never existed. They say that time heals the bad and puts roses around the good, but this time is taking so long because my scars are still open.

I wish I didn't care so much. I wish I could turn into a cold person and turn my back as if it all didn't matter. I wish I wasn't so hard on myself. I wish I knew better. I wish things would be easier. I wish I wasn't so easily replaced. I wished things could get better.

Misery

Shadows are fallin' all over town
Another night and these blues got me down
Oh, misery! I sure could use some company
Since he's been gone I ain't been the same
I carry weight like an old ball and chain
Guess its all meant to be
For love to cause me misery

Oh misery! Oh misery!
Tell me why does my heart make a fool of me
Seems its my destiny
For love to cause me misery

And, oh! I've been down this road before
With a passion that turns into pain
And each time I saw love walk out the door
I swore never get caught up again

But ain't it true? It takes what it takes
And sometimes we get too smart too late
One more heartache for me
Another night of misery

Oh! And oh misery! Oh misery!
Tell me why does my heart make a fool of me
Oh misery! Oh misery!
Tell me why, why, why, why, why, why does this
heart make a fool of me
Seems its my destiny
For love to cause misery, oh
Misery
Guess its all meant to be
For love to cause me misery, oh, no, yeah
Misery