I feel for her

So we are both such romantics. It's kind of refreshing to have someone who's on the same wavelength as me. I just wished to be with her suntanning by the beach on the sands with her. Just to be there having her company is all that I need. Holding her and sharing little kisses here and there is ideal.

I don't know what's going to happen, because when things are planned they sometimes don't follow through. Although, I'm hoping things work out for us because I'm back at my good feeling place. It's taken awhile for me to get here and I want to stay here.

I thought about this long and hard, through and through about having another long distance relationship. Because really being on other sides of the world is tough. Even though you say you love one another, you really don't know what the other person is actually doing. They can say one thing and do another.

Yes it scares me because I don't want to fall into the same position like before. Being faithful in a long distance relationship isn't easy. I can do it, but can the other? Love is a gamble. I'm gonna take a risk because I'm feeling something for her, she makes me happy and well it's not something I can just walk away from that easily. When I feel this way, I just have to go with it! My sweet green eyes <3

Stolen shot

So I constantly change the pics of my sweet green eyes on my phone. This foto has got to be my favorite one and looks great on my home screen. I love just staring at this pic. She's got the sexy French tip nails and her very sexy athletic legs (this girl can kick ass - literally)! Did I mention that she has some nice washboard abs? Yeah, she leaves me speechless and makes me =] <3

I've been missing

So what can I say? I'm really missing her right now. She wanted me to be there with her, would have been really nice. No make that really amazing and awesome to be there with her. I would be able to meet the family and her friends. There's nothing I can do on such short notice. I could visit her at her school too, but my sweet green eyes said that it would have been better and easier to tour me around her hometown.

But like she said, there is plenty of time for us to see each other. Although, I seriously want to be with her right now. She loves challenges, I love challenges and that is one of the many things that make us compatible with each other. Plus our chemistry = her plus me! <3

It's the father in law =]

Move, get out of the way

My sweet green eye's ex is trying so hard to win her back. Look girlfriend, she can't stop picturing you fucking around with someone else and she can't look past that! And it's not only once, damn it - you did it in front of her face several times. She doesn't deserve that treatment, that's a slap in the face! She deserves better!

My sweet green eye's needs someone who's not going to be a ho! Control yourself woman! Stop spreading your legs every time! There is no excuse my friend, for breaking her heart. Oh, thank you there actually was a reason and it was for me to pick up from where you messed up. I'd want to kick your ass but at the same time i'd shake your hand, but then I don't want to touch it because you screwed up - literally. Point for me!

True song, real to life...dedicated:

Are you tired?

...because you've been running through my mind all day long =P

Today my sweet green eyes posted the pics that she promised me. Tons and tons of pics that I just love looking at over and over. I want more! She looked amazing. She gets me all high and I've totally fallen for her. She's all around simply amazing!

I want a girl who doesn't have 2 sides to her. Meaning she isn't afraid to hide who she is because it's not accepted for whatever reason. My sweet green eyes breaks those barriers and I respect her so much more for it. This is someone who I want to be with because she is free with herself and I will be free to be myself with her as well. No holds barred. I won't only be known as her best friend.

I'm extremely thankful because I deserve better. I deserve to be happy and to have a heartbreak, that was something needed to get out of my depression. I'm in a better place now and it just makes me a better person because of it. My sweet green eyes, she just is on mind constantly and because of that - she makes everyday my day. Ive truly fallen <3

I feel like someone's watching me

My sweet green eye's ex needs to stop following me. I know that my sweet green eye's said that the astrologist told her that she won't be able to get away from her because she is her karma, but why does she have to be mine as well? I'm so into my sweet green eyes and I don't want anything getting in our way and ruining anything. I've totally fallen and at the same time I'm a little bit scared.

Magnificent plans for sure!

Can't read minds...can't read minds P-p-p-poker face = | ha ha =D

<3 <3

even if I turn insane...yah I'm crazy <3

And so it is

Right now I have to say, life has been amazing. I'm looking forward to much more! I'm so excited about a lot of things and I'm ready for all that comes my way. "Hello world, Here I am!" =]

I dreamt of her

...but I was disappointed in my dream because she started talking and she had no accent. She turned into an american girl who look like the typical blonde and she had on a hooters outfit. For some reason though, that was her and I knew it even though it really wasn't. Does that make sense? =D

Oh Honey...sugar...sugar

I was pretty pissed off and emotional on Monday. I just wanted to hurt someone. I just hate when people say one thing and do another. Just be honest to the core about things, blunt is better than faking nice. I expect that most from the ones close to me, since I care about them. If it's a regular Joe schmo being all fake to me, it wouldn't be such a big deal, but then I wouldn't expect to much from them and wouldn't care to know them fools. Sofia knows me pretty well and she knows how I feel. Sometimes it hits close to home. Nostalgia.

Have your cake and it eat it too.

So the other day my cousin brought up the subject of mistresses. She asked me if I would be a mistress to someone. And then she told me that she thinks it is ok. She then said that people fall out of love and can't help it. Which brought us to the next topic - which came out of nowhere she said, "like Sofia did with you, she fell out of love with you." (She repeated herself and I felt like it all being rubbed in my face).Then she said, "which I don't know why?" She questioned me, "Do you know why?"

So I had to explain myself to her yet again the reason. Then I continued our earlier subject, "why, if you love someone should you have a mistress? Fucking break up with them, don't drag them along for the ride." I feel very passionate about this subject and I can go for hours and hours until your face turns blue, about this touchy subject matter.

I totally felt this scene from the...
Movie: The Kids are Alright

This fits the topic well.

Jules: It has nothing to do with that. I just felt so far from you lately.

Nic: Oh right, so it's my fault.

Jules: No, who said anything about fault? Just listen to me! (crying)

Nic: I'm listening! What? (irritated and distraught)

Jules: I just...I just needed...

Nic: What?...to be fucked?

Jules: No...appreciated!!!!

Nic: Oh well it's always what I'm not doing for you, isn't it?
Well...ok. Here's what I don't do to you. I don't work out my issues by FUCKING other people!

Pretty much, the scene is self explanatory.

End scene.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder?

Seriously I don't get it. Why do girls go for girls who look like boys? Or girls who look like lesbians, like Justin Bieber? Seriously gross! If you wanted the real deal why not go for a man? My friend said that they make up for their ugly looks in bed since that's all that they got going on for them. EW! At least they should have some look in them and not just personality.

Let's say the ugliest butch girl you can think of was great in bed and had lots of money (and all the right connections)...I'd pass any day. Sorry Charlie, but I like a girlie girl with feminine beauty over any butch girl (don't find any of them attractive - at all). And girls who go for girls like that who are hot, they just become less attractive, just sayin'. I find it that the person who you go out with makes or breaks your looks. It's a fact, true story.

I know looks aren't everything, but damn look a little bit closer and couple that with personality. Not just personality alone.

Only person that I'd go for who's butch - the closest would be Katherine Moenning. And even she's still more femme than butch.

I know you want me =]

Sigh

I love when she sends me all these YouTube songs, I love her taste in music and the meanings behind it. I can't wait to see her beautiful face and hear her sexy accent! I wished I had Internet more than mobile Internet. Until then I'll have to hold my breath. <3

Me + her = Chemistry

I seriously can't stop thinking about her. All kinds of thoughts. She's got me wanting and needing her badly. I don't need anything or anyone else, just my sweet green eyes. She's so much in a happy mood now and I'm glad that she is. She needed to go back home and clear her mind from things. Now all she needs is me to get her mind focused on one thing. I want us to work out. <3

Shut up and drive!

So I need to break my habit of texting while driving. It's so dangerous and makes my car swerve, the one time I would have hit a Porsche because I wasn't paying attention. So when my sweet green eyes texted me while I driving yesterday, I couldn't help but respond right back. We were talking back and forth. I can't tell her that I'm driving with my knees while my full attention is on her, she would stop texting me and tell me to be careful! I don't want to, she gets me all giddy! I just want to live dangerously - she makes me feel so good!

X Factor

So this week I've been dreaming of my exes. The first ex I dreamt of was of George. We were together. I just remember very little about the dream, we were somewhere in Europe. At the end we were in a racetrack in front of our glass house with a bunch of expensive cars owned by us. It was really nice being with him and I was happy.

The next ex I dreamt of was Radek. Our parents and his sister was trying to get us back together. His sister was telling me that he still had a thing for me. We met up again and we went out and yet again I was so happy being with him. I didn't remember too much of the dream as well, but I felt good.

I have no idea where these dreams came from about them when they don't even cross my mind. Also I don't like guys that way anymore. So I don't understand what's going on in my brain. Though both dreams I was very happy, calm and secured.

I wonder who's next...

Basically

...my shirt says it all...

M-I-A

It was so awesome that my friend quoted me on his status and a lot of people really liked what I had said. It's the plain truth though. Anyways, besides that, my sweet green eyes went out for the night. Wish I was talking to her at this moment, I'm so bored without her. I just want to hear from her right now so that I can go to sleep with a smile. Damn, wish I was there with her waking up!

She

I can't sleep because I'm so excited to hear from my sweet green eyes. She really makes me hyper and (u can't see it now) she just seriously puts the smile on my face. I love the fact that she would celebrate with me in my gala opening with her rocking outfits and a bottle of champaign. That is just so sexy!! To have her there to see me become big and all is just the icing to the cake. She is my new muse!

I totally can't wait to visit her, she told me that I'd have to bring my camera to take a whole bunch of photos and sunbathe with her. What more can I ask for? She's my perfect addiction and I don't ever want to get off this high! OH MY! <3

Good things come to those who wait

I'm such a worrier! Damn I hate that I got that feature from my mom! So I'm ok now. I can smile again, I'm such a fool.

About love

So the love portion of my horoscope says: If your partner is not ready to make a commitment to you, you will wait, but not forever.

Hmmm...

Love conquers hate?

The waiting game

I've waited around before and have been patient, it isn't an easy thing to do. Am I wasting my life away? You can't just pop into someone's life and turn their sadness into happiness around for just that moment. She did that for me and made me forget about everything. I'm totally missing her, and as the libra I am, I still wear my heart on my sleeve. Yes, I'll be waiting.

Isolated

I've been sitting all alone in the living room in pitched, black darkness for hours. I have my headset on, listening to the saddest songs. I look up at the walls, where my iPhone light hits the ceilings, as if I were to have an answer from above. Yet I hear nothing but the silence. The questions that keep running through my mind are still left unanswered. Time goes by slowly and I sit here in the cold, darkness wishing things could be different.

What am I doing here?

I wonder if Tom is coming because I'm feeling very Emo right now. I don't know what I want and what to do. I'm questioning again what my purpose is in life, what am I doing here and what is the point of my existence? I don't really know, I wish I did.

Give me a break

What annoys me is that my bff can get on my nerves very easily. She acts like she's my mom and a girlfriend at the same time(never will I go for her, ew). She can be a bit too much! At times, she goes overboard, I just shut myself down. Really, she's not worth wasting my breathe on explaining myself. Can she just chill out and just be my friend and not a dictator? :/

Home

There is a warmth in my heart whenever I hear from Sofia, she still can make my day with very little effort. <3

Mother Mother

What makes me mad is having my mom try to understand me, but all she does is bring me down. Instead of trying to be happy for me, what I do is never good enough. How is she supposed to get my vote on best mother of the year?

I tell her about my ADHD and she gets so pissed off. She keeps saying, "you are not stupid." How many times do I have to explain to her what ADHD consists of? Then she tells me not to let everyone know that I have it, like she is ashamed. The only one I'm telling it to is her because I'm trying to teach her about it. But she doesn't want to hear it. She just wants me to keep it to myself and pretend it doesn't exist. Sad.

She feels the same way about my sexuality. She will never accept that I'm gay. It's just too bad for her if she decides to exclude herself from who I love. She will forever be unhappy with my decision because I'm going to ultimately end up with a girl.

My mom makes me feel like I will never amount to anything. As much as I want to pretend it doesn't matter what she thinks, it does bother me. Why can't she just be happy for me? I'm not going to be with a man. As my sweet green eyes said, "it doesn't mean we can't have the same lifestyle as a straight couple - we could have every bit of the same life as any other."

Uncontrollable

I can't stop thinking about my sweet green eyes. I just want her, right about now. We have such a great connection that it's inevitable. I love how she is a nerd, an athlete, a fashion junkie, a dj and I can't wait for her to sing to me. She's so sweet and I know she has a big heart as mine. She puts me in a great mood. I can't get enough of her, she makes me so happy and smile a lot. She keeps me up and so wide awake. I seriously need her now!

Signed,

Falling in.

Worried.

Haven't heard from my sweet green eyes since Thursday night and I'm a bit worried. I hope I'm not over reacting and that everything is ok. I didn't get any email, messages and she hasn't been on fb since we last talked. Her ex sounds totally psychotic for telling her that she can't live without her, hope she didn't do anything crazy.

I know my sweet green eyes was going out on friday to treat her friends to a proper birthday since she couldn't really during exams. She also said she was going to take a million pics of herself in her outfits for me and I haven't seen anything yet. I just hope she's ok, her ex waits for her and stalks her at her hall and she doesn't want anything to do with her. I hope she didn't try anything. I just have to wait patiently and try to take deep breathes.

The one that got away

Hearing from Sofia was great. I seriously thought she was mad at me. I think highly of her, I've always had, and her comments were sweet and very much appreciated. It's sad that we don't talk like we used to and that we both don't call each other baby. She will always have a piece of my heart, my first.

Relationships <3

Creativity

I'm lovin' it!

I get to work in the hospital like a nurse minus the dirty work, but I get the Grey's Anatomy atmosphere. Being a photographer there is so much fun! The look on the families faces with the pics that I took felt so awesome! I sold a lot of my pics and it felt so good! I'm my own boss and I'm on my own schedule. I love being able to be creative! A job that you love...doesn't feel like a job at all! So thankful!

I'm really happppy...so there!!!!!

My sweet green eyes came to talk with me. Her ex is still not giving up even after she had deleted her and her bff. She still didn't get the point. I know that my sweet green eyes is worth it and well pretty much, her ex fucked up several times and it's her loss. My sweet green eyes deserves someone better, point for me! I didn't realize that her ex was the one who kept commenting after me when she was on her fb, she was watching me like a hawk. Im glad that she's through with her! I'm glad that her bff's are protecting her!

She came to talk with me and I enjoyed every bit of our conversation. We've got so much planned on what we will be doing together and I can't wait. She wanted me to visit this summer, but she got into the hospital for her studies so we will have to wait and I will! She's totally worth it! Like she said, we both have all the time in the world =]

We talked for a long time and she made me smile and laugh. She does live up to her taurus status! I'm so mesmerized by her. She had to go for a run before the sun would set; her coach is really strict on her diet (she had her fav ice cream) so she was going to burn it off. She said she would talk to me when she would get back.

I headed out to Noodles and Co. to get something to eat and Target for the doggy food. As I got home my sweet green eyes messaged that she didn't forget me and that she was so tired, she showered and was ready to go to sleep. Aw. She is so fucking sweet. I can't wait to talk with my sweet green eyes today! I know people liked Sofia a lot for me, but they will also love my sweet green eyes! She's a total keeper! <3

2 Weeks Unoticed

I feel so happy and stressed free. The look on my boss' face was PRICELESS! Her jaw dropped and then she looked so pissed after I told her I wasn't staying for the rest of the day after quitting. Mission accomplished. It definitely was a BIG F U to her face; without even having the words from coming out of my mouth. What a great day it was to be outside in the sun and eat some authentic Mexican food to celebrate!

I wanted to talk to my sweet green eyes to tell her the news, but she got home late and I wasn't home anyways to be able to talk to her too long either. So she told me we would talk tomorrow and that she was so happy for me =] I missed her!

Now to get started with my new adventures and travel. I couldn't be happier!!!! Yes I'm so thankful!