All I want is to be happy again. I want this pain in my heart to just go away. It's the worst feeling ever. I try my best to get my mind to think happy thoughts but I end up with this pain in my chest and my eyes always become uncontrollably heavy. I feel so empty inside and so very alone. I miss seeing your eyes all day long at work while I'm on Skype. Those beautiful brown eyes that have long lashes. Those lashes that can run for miles, which used to poke me in the eyes when we kissed.
I miss kissing the back of your neck with your cute little baby curls. I miss your arms with the hairs that I don't like you shaving off because I love to just run my hands up and down your arms. I even miss the cute little mole on your arm. I love the way your blonde hair fell over your face onto mine. I miss your so fresh scent that brings me back to the first days that I came to see you in the UK. Every time I would go into your bathroom, I would just smell your towels and it smelled of you - heavenly.
I miss holding your hands and holding you tight in my arms. Now I just got a little more weak as Pandora started playing one of our songs from our movie, Wicker Park (that we always watched when we were together). It's true what Chris Martin sings, "nobody said it would be this hard...so take me back to the start." :'( I miss your silly jokes how you would make me laugh and just make me smile for days. I miss pinching your sweet butt, as I would make you jump every time I did that. Show me the muni!
I miss you swearing left and right like a sailor. Gamoto this, gamoto that. I miss you in your blue sleeping wear with the buttons (that I'd always unbutton and you'd button right back up) as you tie your hair back and wear your gold glasses. I miss your beautiful shaped legs. I miss your Armani jeans that embedded the shape of your ass on the Starbucks seat. I miss calling you baby, Moro mu and telling you right before you sign off Skype to go to sleep, "Onira glika, Moro mu."
I miss watching you pluck your eyebrows into perfection (as if you weren't already). I miss you cutting your nails and then you biting them afterwards, it's so sexy when you do that. I miss your daily talks on the phone to your mom - I actually listened even though I didn't understand I loved hearing your Greek. Although I understood when you were mad because you get so heated in your conversation and your voice raises louder and then you are begin talking with your hands while you are on the phone. I miss how much of a clean, neat freak you are. There is never a mess unless it was me or you and me together making the mess.
I miss our planning of visiting you and booking (and then going broke, but all worth it) my tickets to go on a long flight alone just to see you, although the flight didn't seem so long at all. I miss meeting you at the airport and you hugging me so tight and telling me why I'm not hugging you back. I miss finally getting into the elevator to get that long awaited kiss that we both have been craving. And then acting like nothing happened when the elevator door opened.
I miss just being wide awake with you as people would expect me to have jet lag, but maybe because I was here with you, I didn't feel tired at all. I miss sleeping on top of you even though I didn't notice (I'm sorry I'm such a heavy sleeper, it was all because I was waking up so early to be on Greek time)! I miss marking you all over your body and having marks from you for weeks like you had beaten me up.
I miss spending every single moment with you as much as I possibly could as if there wasn't a tomorrow. I miss how hard it was parting from you the day I always had to leave each morning at such a crazy early time. I miss the last hug and the feeling of your kiss on my cheek as we both had tears in our eyes because parting was such sweet sorrow. It was never easy for us leaving each other. I miss us texting back and forth to one another on how much we couldn't stand being without each other, that we were missing each other insanely and that you could smell my scent on your bed. And I wouldn't brush my teeth because I wanted to keep your taste in my mouth so that I can bring it all the way back to the states.
I miss being your fiancé and proudly wearing the other ring that showed off that I belonged to you and you belonged to me. And the list could go on and on, but then I wouldn't be able to stop writing this entry. But most of all, I miss you - mu lipis trela...you will always be my baby love.
Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you, tell you I need you
Tell you I set you apart
Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions
Oh, let's go back to the start
Running in circles, coming up tails
Heads on a science apart
Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh, take me back to the start
I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart
But tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start
Running in circles, chasing our tails
Coming back as we are
Nobody said it was easy
Oh, it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start
Oh ooh, ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ah ooh, ooh ooh ooh ooh
Oh ooh, ooh ooh ooh ooh
Oh ooh, ooh ooh ooh ooh
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