Yup, nothing to worry

Aw....<3 =]

Flashbacks with my gf

So I was curious to read my blogs that I had wrote in 2011 before my gf to see how I used to be. I read probably 2 of my blogs and couldn't believe how crazy depressing I had sound. I wish to never be that way again because reading that just got me down. I decided to read up on the start of meeting my amazing gf that I have now and I couldn't stop laughing and smiling about how we were getting to know each other and how she made me feel. I'm still not done reading about us, but it totally lifted up my spirits.

Below is attached is the form I had received from Cameron Ross, I guess the owner of J.G. Ross Bakery in the UK, who helped me order my cake to be delivered to my gf on her special day. It's just another one of the surprises that I had sent over to my gf to make her day and put a smile on her face:

In my heart, In my thoughts

So I started day dreaming about how it was like together being in the arms of my gf and I just miss her so so much. I miss kissing her, I remember peeking when we were kissing one another and I could see how lost she was in my kisses. I miss her slender, strong neck and just tasting her skin and making my mark on her. I miss kissing her collarbones, which I find so attractive. I miss kissing the bottom of her chin with the scar from when she broke it a couple times when she was a little kid. I miss hearing her moan in my ears, which drives me so insane. I miss so much, just holding her in my arms in her tank as she cuddles up to stay warm as we go to sleep. I miss our talks, our break ups and the better part is making up with each other. I love how when we go out and we are arm in arm with each other and I have the hottest date while I walk down the street and into the clubs. I love how she sits next to me in public and she leans besides me as I hold her, showing the world that she is mine. It feels so great and freeing to have someone who I don't have to hide. So those were a few of the thoughts that had been going through my mind, every single day and even more now that I don't get to talk with my gf as much. I can't wait to for her to get through this studying and finally have all her attention. I'm sorry but I can't help wanting to be selfish and have her all to myself. I'm in love with her, since day one. <3 

Oh yeah and I miss it that before we go to bed, she prays...so sweet.

23

My baby's birthday is coming up and even though I'm not going to be there on her special day, I want to make sure that it is a special day for her. I'm sending her presents that I know she wanted like the Amy Winehouse CD. She could have download it for free, but she wanted the real thing and be able to touch it. She said, sometimes the good things aren't all free - you have to pay for it. She said that right after I told her I have those songs and I could just upload the songs to her computer - she's the typical taurus. She's really down to earth and isn't that type to flaunt that she comes from money. That's one of the many reasons I love about her. She also loves buying apps, so I got her an itunes gift card that I know she'll enjoy. I also got her diamond double heart pendant, which signifies us in our relationship, obviously. I'm also going to have a cake made and delivered on the day of her birthday! I love surprising her and spoiling her! Sometimes I think it's hard to buy presents for the girl who has everything, which makes me have to have a stronger imagination.  I just want the best for my girl who's turning 23, my beautiful birthday girl! <3

Below are the pics of the presents and the card I had gotten for my babe:

All I need is her, nothing more

I have these on and off smiles just thinking of the girl that I love so much, my beautiful girlfriend. We've been through so much with each other from the last year to this year and I'm glad that she's mine. She is the one that I have been looking for all my life and it's amazing to finally find my princess. Right now my gf is working her ass off because she is close to near finishing up for her graduation, so I'm missing her a whole damn lot. Even though we aren't having as much time to talk as usual, she's on my mind and I know that I can trust her because my intuition tells me to - that and because I love my gf. 

Missing someone a'int easy

I haven't Skyped with my baby in 3 days, so it gets me a little down because I miss seeing her beautiful face, talking to her and hearing her beautiful voice. I know that she's studying hard for her last weeks of being in school and I wanted to give her space. Although, I freaked out because I don't like being away from her at all and mostly since we are on the other sides of the Atlantic, being that far away is pretty hard. I'm trying my hardest to think good thoughts, I know I have insecurities of being in a long distance relationship because of my past experience and being on and off with my gf. But I'm trying hard to trust things with my girl. Why do you ask? Well because I love her so much, I've fallen so hard for my baby and there's definitely no turning back for me. It's all forward on onward for me and my love. It's only her that I want. <3

Below are the phone calls to and from my baby as well as our texts to one another:

Sounds good to me...

hope it's right!  

L Word

 So my baby came online in the morning and I IM'd her and she called me. I only talked to her a few minutes and then her dad called so she told me that we'd talk afterwards. She was taking long so she told me if we could talk later on tonight and I said that it was fine. My baby called me when I was at the  car place and she said if I wanted to talk when I got home. I explained to her what happened and she told me that she'll still be up because she is studying and that I shouldn't rush home.

My babe and I talked for about 2 hrs. She explained to me about how her friend Karim came over and he was acting unusually weird. She said that he didn't have anything to drink so she wasn't able to get any information out of him. She was explaining how he was all touchy feely around her and even play bit her arm and I gave her this look like, wtf? She said, babe don't get jealous of Karim he's so gay. At the same time, she was questioning his behavior and his intentions with her, but then she couldn't grasp the idea of him even liking a girl because of all the bf's and guys that she had gone through talking about with him. She was asking my advice and I told her that maybe it's all an act just to get close to you and she still couldn't think of him even feeling that way towards her. I said that maybe he's turning a new leaf and deciding he will try going straight.

She told me that she ended up talking again with her ex. Her ex wanted to talk about their relationship again saying that the reason why she had cheated on her was all my gfs fault. She was saying how she loved her and still loves her....etc. and blah blah blah. My gf told her that it was fine that she felt that way about what happened with them but she doesn't really care about it anymore. She told me, why can't she just put the Irene & Lila Chapter away and bury it because it's all over and done with. My gf was explaining, "If you really love someone, would you really go with someone else...?" I cut her off with a sarcastic tone saying, "I loved you so much that is why I went off and was fucking someone else." She was explaining how loyal she was to her and that her ex was very demanding. She said that she needed to have her attention on her 24 hrs a day.

My gf said she was also studying, which she loves to do - and told her gf that she would put her science aside to give all her attention to her gf. She asked me if she was being irrational. She asked me what I thought of it. I told her that if she did something like that for me, I'd love it because she's pushing another thing that she loves aside for her own gf. She said that when she got back, Karim was mad at her for having to talk with her ex because he hates her. I said well your friends know you best and what's good for you. She said that's true and that he also knows something about her and Stacy, the one time fling they had with each other. He asked her about it but she told him that she didn't know what he was talking about. She told me that she couldn't believe the chic told him about what happened and said that she needs to have a talk with her.

We talked about Taurus and Libra matches. She was explaining how she knows 3 other libras - her grandpa, grandma and Anastasia. She explained to me that I was the same way with her grandma, which she told me she's real close to and that she was more like a mom to her than her real mom. So she said she didn't know which is the real libra since her bff and grandpa didn't describe some of the qualities that I had explained. I told my gf that majority rules and that her grandma and I are the true libras. She asked me why I had stayed with her after all that we had gone through. She was like I know I'm crazy, but you put up with me and my behavior. I told her that I had feelings right from the start and I didn't look at the ups and downs of our relationship (she broke up with me about 4 times), but I couldn't just let her go. I was already deeply involved with her to even walk away. She smiled.

We got into the conversation about us making up. I told her that it was good and she told me I had crushed her ego. She said it was only good? She was like I can't believe you said that and I told her I didn't mean it that way. I felt stupid because that just came out and I told her it was like Summer (500 days of Summer - we watched it together b/c she didn't watch it) she said it was gooood. She started laughing. I said babe what I mean to say was it was amazing and magnificent, which was the truth. She told me that she wouldn't want to have known me when I was 19 (explaining how my hyperness and ability to keep going and going) and then she said well I wouldn't have wanted to know actually. She said that it was a compliment, I blushed. She also said that anyone who is surrounded by me would all be attracted to me. Again I got all quiet and she was like babe say thank you that was another compliment. She was saying that I'm shyer than her cousin who's 4 years old and that I'm older than her - and because of that I shouldn't be so shy. She also said and the fact that I'm her girlfriend would be another reason not to be so bashful with her. She told me that she heard me talking in the room with Nikos, Silvio and Mo and that day she couldn't believe that I actually talked (that's for another long story on another blog possibly).

Well I'm too lazy now to write anymore (well I'm still hyper at the moment as I type my blog right now). My gf said that she needed to get back to studying and showed me her notebook of what she was writing in (molecular biology) and told me, see I have so much studying to do that I don't have time to cheat on you. I said and you wouldn't cheat on me anyways? She looked at me and I wouldn't cheat on you only with molecular biology. I said well I don't mind if I have to share you with MB. She laughed and said I'm not gonna go there. She told me that we will talk tomorrow and blew me a kiss. I blew her a kiss back and told her love you and she said love you back at me. We blew each other another kiss and I hung up.  

Oh I forgot to add that I told my gf that I am preserving the clothes that she washed of mine because I still want to keep her scent on me. She said, well I could always send you the lil fabric to you. I told her or you can come here. She said yes that's true, but after May 18th when everything is all over and she has her degree. That is all. =] <3

Xristos Anesti

I love my baby!!!! Seriously we are made for each other! <3

Explanations

 I didn't get to talk as long as I wanted to with my baby because either my baby's dad was calling her, so I had to wait for her. Then my cousin came to the house and she wouldn't let me talk anymore to my gf once she got to the house. 

My gf saw my arm and said, OMG is that what I had done to you? I told her yes and she said that she was very sorry. She said she didn't remember what she did, so that she wouldn't do it again the next time. I told her babe it's ok, it doesn't even hurt and I was showing her while I kept pressing it. She said stop doing that. She said well I know you like pain and was smiling but I'm really sorry babe.

We talked about how she hung out with her ex and how disappointed that she was actually with this girl for 3 years. Too make a long story short my gf's ex was becoming the office slut hooking up with her boss who's a married man with 2 kids. She is also having feelings towards the bigger boss above him who is a woman.  My gf said that she just hooks up with people for their status (people with money). The crazy thing too is that the guy my gfs ex cheated on her with will also be working there as the team manager. My gf told her ex not to ever associate her as the girl that she got engaged to right before she ends up marrying the fat old rich man. My gf said that her ex was putting her arms in hers and she was asking what she was doing? My gf said she only does that with her friends and her gf and she didn't consider her ex any of those. My gf said that she texted her ex and said that she can't be around her anymore and to never talk/text her again. 

We talked again about what she saw of mine that just fucked her up the other day, which is why it took her so long to respond to me when I texted her. She wanted to know, because when I was there with her in Scotland, she told me she didn't want to get over another fucked up situation. I explained to my gf that she shouldn't worry and that I'm faithful to her and didn't want anyone else. She told me to be sure because things are different because of the way she feels for me and that I'm her real second chance to be in a serious relationship. I love how she thinks highly of me and that after what she had gone through with her first love (who overdosed and that took a toll on her in life and relationships). I love how my gf is finally opening up and giving love another chance (not like her relationship with her ex previously to me). 

Then my gf and I talked about her bff Karim, who is as my gf says, gay as a tennis player but he told her that he has a thing for a girl. My gf was like, what is going on in the world? Gay people going straight and vice versa. My gf said that the girl that Karim maybe talking about is her and if that is the truth - she doesn't know what she's going to do. Although, my gf said that it's hard for her to comprehend it since he's so gay! She did say though that how he treated me when I was there was the same way he did with her ex and he hated her ex. She said that he doesn't act like that towards her other friends, just girlfriends so that's why she's thinking that the girl he's got feelings for is her. I said that I felt that he wasn't very fond of me and she agreed because when we ran into that Stacy girl (who's his friend - she's a pretty girl from L.A.), in front of me he was telling my gf why doesn't she try hooking up with her. We both said it at the same time that it pissed me off and it worked. 

I remember that night when my gf, Karim and I were walking him back home from Black Friars and we saw that Stacy girl. Karim stopped to talk with her and she was looking back at me and Lila. Then Karim said bye to her and came back to walk with us. Karim was telling my gf, "why not try Stacy?" I remember looking at her up and down saying to myself, yes she's pretty and sexy but you can tell she's such a whore. When I heard that from Karim, I was so pissed off and I started walking further away from them really fast (I was a bit tipsy at the time too). My gf went after me and grabbed my arm and held me close to her and whispered in my ear, "babe don't worry about that girl". She was telling me remember what we talked about earlier about girls like that? She was like that's the kind of girl that won't stick around, they are only good for one night stands but nothing serious. After she held me close to her I felt much better. 

I found out the next day that my gf had hooked up with her one time and they both didn't realize that Karim was their friend and decided to hide it from him because he thought highly of both of them. She said that she didn't know she was a friend of his; they met I believe in one of her classes. She said do you remember how the way she was looking at me that night? I told her that I didn't notice because I was so pissed off with Karim even trying to hook her up in front of me, while he knew that my gf and I are in a relationship. She told me that she couldn't go for a girl like that for anything serious and she wouldn't ever hook up with her again. That day Stacy texted her asking who she was with (me) the night that she saw us, she likes my gf a lot but my gf isn't into her that way.

Now I'm kind of writing some things of what happened when I was in Scotland with my gf. Well my gf told me that she never brings any girls ever back to her place because it's her personal place and the girls would know to much. She told me that I'm the only girl that she brought there (and I can tell m gf is a private person). She also told me very personal things about her that she only shared with her bff and hadn't told anyone. I could go all into it but that be 10 more blogs to write in. So it feels good to know how she trusts me with such information and how special it makes me because she has been opening up more and more about herself to me. I love that. 

When I got on my bed it was squeaking and I told her that I hated the bed. She said, babe when I come there you are going to have to change that bed. I told her that I will don't worry. She said smiling as she was looking down or else we're gonna have to use the floor. She was mentioning that people use beds for the first time, but for us on the first time we used the floor. ;]

Anyways, getting back to us talking on Skype - my cousin came and didn't want to be waiting anymore and I told her that I just need to say a few more things to my gf and she wasn't having it. My gf IM'd me back and said not to worry because she has to go help out the guys in cooking for Easter. I switched the mic back on and told her that I didn't want to let her go because I had missed her. She told me, "I know...I miss you too but you are standing your cousin up." I said ok and I told her I love you and she said it back to me and smiled (she looked so happy when I said that). I was really happy to hear it from her as well and then hung up. I hate that part. 

Below again our sweet texts (when I'm going to see my baby)! And Skype messages etc:

A'int no way I'm letting her go

I now have realized how much my gf loves me even more than I had ever known. I'm filled with a million, different, unimaginable emotions because I know that I've found my forever keeper of my heart. It's genuine and I have no words to really explain how amazing it feels to be in a relationship that I had to work hard for. My horoscopes hold true (under love...well mood too but usually I'm just reading the love part) read below and the texts from my baby. <3

Nothing without her

Being without my gf is like torture, I grow extremely sad. I don't care about anything here, I just want to be back with my baby. She's all I need, all I want and all that I care about. She hasn't sent my jacket, but I told her that I'll pick it up the next time I go see her (soon) - it's ok my stuff belongs at her place. I just wished I was my jacket instead.