Hyped up!!

Each day it gets closer and closer that I'm going to be with the one that I love. I'm so excited!!! I'm not sure what to expect. I don't know how I'm going to react when I see her once I step of the plane. My girl did bet that I will be blushing and freezing when I do see her for the first time. Somehow, I've got to try to control that and make her lose at her bet. She hates being wrong! She's so adorable! I keep daydreaming about the kiss and having to finally hold her in my arms. It's amazing in my thoughts, how much more when it really happens! YAYYYYYY I CAN'T WAIT!!!! <3

The future...

...is looking bright! I want my girl now though!!!

Proceed with caution

I really am in love with this girl and I know that she's very much in love with me. I know that she's trying to keep it as cool as me because I told her that I didn't have any expectations with us, but of course I do want to be with her. I know that when I get to Aberdeen, we'll officially get back together because we have this strong connection with one another... and I felt that from the very beginning. 

My girl is not a person of many words when it comes to love, she rather show it through actions than say it with words. I know that she wants to feel certain if we are going to be more than friends and of course the answer is yes, but I'm not going to give her my word right now. One, because I don't want to freak her out, two because I know she likes the chase, so I'll leave her wanting to know more. 

Time is winding down, till the day that we meet face to face. I'm so excited to see her, it's been a long time in the waiting. She maybe young, but she's got a lot of character and personality to her. Unlike the other girls that I had talked with, she's very real and doesn't try too hard. She truly fascinates me in every sense of the word. Seeing her beautiful face and hearing her sweet voice makes me smile and feel so happy. I've missed her tons and tons. I know that she's been listening to my playlist as I've been listening to the sweet songs that she had given to me. Meeting her was definitely fate. I love how she keeps me on my toes, she's already got me - she never really lost me.

Accident

So I was re-reading me and my girl's text messages post break up and somehow I accidentally sent a blank text message. I was like wtf, I screwed up! I wasn't supposed to contact her until Monday and I said to myself, fuck me...I ruined it. So I didn't say anything so that maybe she wouldn't notice, but she did. 

I went from sleeping and not wanting to wake up and just hoping for something better to happen. Then I started thinking more positive, even prayed and I had a feeling that I could have her back. But now she owes me, BIG TIME!!! I knew all along that she really loves me. <3 Below are the texts explaining what happened and pics of all the signs that brought me a good feeling. =] <3

Lexus

It's a sign...there is a chance she'll be back. Just got done with pumping gas and I turned into the street and viola...Lexus. I'm going crazy, I hope not...

But really I think there is something very off with what my girl said about everything. I have a good feeling that this isn't it and I'm not going down without another fight.

I know she loves me, but I don't think she's fully out about herself to people as she said. I'm going to fix this, she's not getting off that easy...I'm a libra.

Sleep to forget

I think I've slept almost 6 hours since I got home. I had no dream, it was like I wasn't existing on this earth. (Usually, I'm not getting this much sleep - I like staying up). The only time I woke up was when my cousin called me and she asked what was wrong, I told her I just woke up - which was the truth. She was like, are you back together with Sofia? I wasn't really paying to much attention to exactly what she was saying because I just wanted to go back to sleep. Although, when I did wake up I was hurting, but the heartache hurt. I don't like having this feeling and I tried to keep things positive and go for a long walk with the dogs, but I can't help feeling this emptiness inside. I woke up about an hour ago not realizing it was midnight, all I want to do is go to sleep and not deal with anything. My mom kept annoying me saying that I have to eat something or else I'll end up going to ER like my cousin, who had an ulcer for not eating. I can't help that I've lost my appetite for food, I just don't have the mood. 

Sitting on top of the world...

...and wanting to jump off of it. Usually my days go by fast and I would be cheery, listening to music and even with out music I would still be hearing it. Now all I hear is silence. Everything stands still for me and I'm not wanting to be here. My eyes are back to that teary-strained feeling once again, when for the past 9 months I was smiling and only tearing because of happiness. Why does it get taken away like that...story of my life. God, I miss her so much.

I know that I hadn't met my girl exactly in person, but we had such a strong connection. I hadn't touched her physically, but I wanted to feel her so much. This is how pathetic I was looking for signs that I'd hear from Lila again. Her dad owns a Lexus and before I used to see a bunch of Lexus cars driving around and today I had to look for them. I was saying inside my mind that if I see a Lexus from my work until I reach home, there is a fighting chance that I'd have Lila back again. Today I didn't see one Lexus and I was becoming sad, not until I reached my house there were 2 Lexus' that were driving one behind the other and my eyes lit up. I know wishful thinking right? I don't want to do anything right now, so I guess I'm going to sleep and hope for some kind of miracle to happen again. ='[

Lost

My world just fell apart at my feet. My smile has quickly disappeared again. I feel so numb and empty inside. I can't think straight, I just want to wake up from this nightmare. I don't know why my gf had dumped me. Something happened after Valentine's Day that I just can't place. I really don't understand. She went from saying she loves me to telling me that I'm too much for her. I'm supposed to be flying to her in 31 days and now I really don't know what to do. I wish my ex is right about her saying she'll be coming back to me, but I don't know. It's scary that it's in a month and not enough time to make anything with her. I have to go Scotland no matter what, one way or another. Why me? Please when I go to sleep, when I wake up this is all just a dream. I'm back to where I started again, not caring about a thing.

Read below (I don't understand all this...I just want to cry):

Behind

I've been overwhelmed with emotion these past days that I've fallen behind on my blog. I'll gather myself together and once I get myself back on track, I'll be back to writing again. It's hard to write exactly how I feel, I don't know if tom got me even more sensitive than I really am right now but he sure helps in getting the tears to fall.

Political Valentine

Seeing the huge smile on my baby's face was amazing. She was pleasantly surprised by how I was able to hide everything from my girl. She always teases me, saying that I have to compete with another girl,  who sent her flowers. She told me as she got home from the lab, the Scottish girl from downstairs gave her the flowers and she was asking my gf to open the card to see who it was from. She was wondering how I was able to send her flowers. Well even though I wasn't in Aberdeen, I was able to find a shop there close by and order beautiful roses. It was great seeing my babe smile, she told me she couldn't stop. 

My gf got to talking about politics - she gets all passionate about it. She was telling me how Greece should just go bankrupt right now, even though she would lose everything, just to start building the economy of Greece back again. I told her I didn't know too much of the Greek government and she said that I don't need to know because it is shit right now. 

She got me to see the perspective of the Greek government comparing it to when Bush was president. All this came about when I was asking my gf what her mom was going to do now. She told me that her mom is still a politician, just that she was abolished from the socialistic party because they said they would drop the people who didn't agree with what they wanted; my gf's mom stood by her word. My gf said that if she was in that position, she would have said the same thing. And that's why my gf and her family were so proud of her mom. (My gf was telling me the Starbucks where her bff goes to every morning, was burned down and she said her friend is crying about it because that's where she goes to read her books). 

My gf's mom called twice during our conversation, she told me her mom was freaking out and wanted to go to the referendum (I think that's what she called it) and talk to the people to let them know that not all the politicians are the same, that there are some good ones - like her. My gf said that she told her mom to stay home right now because they wouldn't listen to her while they are only making 200 euros - minimum wage. She said she knows she wants to try to get through to the people, but my gf said that no matter how she thinks she's trying to help, no one would see her side at this time. Something like that, I can't re-summarize the whole thing.

My gf's mom didn't listen to her and ended up going - my gf freaked out. I could see it in my baby's face. I didn't get to talk as long as I wanted with my gf, but I knew how important her mom's safety was to her. She told me that she had to get off Skype for now and call her dad because he would know what was happening with her mom. My gf told me that she would try to get back on if she could, but if she wasn't able to, she would text me. Read below what happened to her mom (wow, I don't understand how she could just go out there in that crazy riot and protesting) also the sweetest loving message I got from my babe <3:

Happy Valentines Day!!!

Today is like any other day because I show my love to my gf not just for one day - I show it to her EVERYDAY!!! It's still a time to celebrate a hallmark card day, which is fun. I still would send my love presents and flowers at any given moment, just because I want to show her how much I care. I love her so much and I'm waiting now to have a Skype Valentine's Day date with my sweet and amazingly beautiful love! <3

My baby already in V-Day/Proud of mom

Heard from my babe. <3 My baby is ahead of time from me so she is celebrating V-Day earlier. Watched the news in Athens & I was worried about my future in-laws...read below:

Plans

So I'm excited about my plans with my baby when I'm in Aberdeen. She said that she saw this racetrack when she was coming back from her interview in Edinburgh, which was 20 mins from her place. She said that she was thinking about renting a car (with a steering wheel on the left side - cuz she said she wouldn't be able to control steering wheels on the right) and we would go racing. Or she said we can leave the racing when we go to Greece because she knows more how to control her car back home and we won't have to worry about cops racing at night. So she asked me if I wanted to do that or go paint balling. So said YES! to the paint balling. She told me she will get a team for us which includes her 2 gay guy friends (hahah that'll be hilarious) and whoever else she can get to go with us.

Although now I kind of think about it, I would like to do the racing because I think it would just be the 2 of us and turn out to be something more exciting and intimate in the car possibly? Hahah, well I can't help thinking about it because it sounds like an awesome plan, I might add. ;] Well, I'll talk to her about it when I see her on Skype again. It's the weekend so my gf went out with friends. I miss her soooo much!!! God I love that girl!! She's really amazing!! <3<3

Cheese

Yes we are cheesy, but that's only because we are both so in love! <3



Loving even more...

The funny thing about life is that it is full of surprises. Who would have thought that when things get worse, that later on it will only get better? That's what happened to me. Who would have thought that I would meet someone who not only changed my relationship status, but the one who actually changed my life? Instead of feeling like it was going to be the end, it turned into something that was only going to be the start of an amazing new beginning. I fell in love once again and with someone who appreciates me and understands me.

This is the girl that I don't feel like I'm trying too hard to make things work; it all falls naturally into place with ease. I don't feel like I'm alone in this relationship, there is two of us making things work out - together as a couple. I don't have any doubts at all (even if she's on the other side of the ocean) and that's what a true relationship should feel like. I don't have that gut-wrenching-in-the-pit-of my stomach feeling that I had before with who I was previously linked to. Nope, I have good vibes that are coming my way.

I finally found my soul mate and I didn't think I was going to find someone who would complete me as she does. I really love my gf so much and it feels so good to be smiling every second, every moment that I think of her and know that she's feeling the same way as I do (plus she actually has great taste and so do I - tee hee). It's very hard to explain in words the exact emotions that I feel inside about my love. All I know is that I'm so glad that she's the one who brought the happiness into my life after being in a cloud of depression in the past.

She's truly the one (even though it's only been 9 months); she's the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. It doesn't take 1, 2, or 3 years or however long to know someone that you want to be with them forever. Ever since I had met her, there is truly no one else worth thinking about. The last time I saw my ex on Skype cam, she told me that she could see in my eyes that I had missed her.

The truth though was when I first saw her on cam, I felt so happy because I didn't have that connection that I used to have when I did see her. I felt free and unattached to past emotions. In reality, I was actually really missing my gf at that time and I was wishing that she was the one who was on the other end, instead of my ex. And that's the honest truth. Because once you find better, there is no looking back because forward has an even greater view. I found better love and it is stronger than it ever was. <3

Again below are the sweet text messages from my baby...my one and only: =] <3

She rocks my world

It's hard for me to write a blog because all I want to do is just lay in the dark and get all caught up with thoughts of the most amazing girl that I have ever met. She is fearless, because she is able to take pride in who she is and to make her gf known to people more than just a "secret friend." I'm the luckiest girl in the world to have the best of the best - if she was a car she'd be a Lexus! I made the logo below for my gf because it reminds me of her whenever I see a Lexus car (her dad's car is a Lexus and it's a perfect fit for her name)! The truth is what it states underneath my baby's name! 

Below the logo is sweet texts from my gf...she makes my heart skip a beat! <3

 

My Ever After

I get my happy ending and my gf is the one!! She's my soul mate, my world, my everything! When you've finally meet the person you know that you want to spend the rest of your life with, you will feel that from the very start. You will just know and that's what I felt with my gf, that's why when I went to have my tat done, I didn't hesitate to think twice about it. I actually wanted to have my gf's name tattooed on  me (I got love in greek, in my gf's handwriting tattooed on my arm). 

I haven't been more sure in my life about my gf being my forever. I've been in relationships longer than I have been with my gf and I had been unsure of our future, but not anymore! I felt good vibes from the start and my gf had confirmed to me what she wanted from me, which you'll have to read my texts below to understand what I'm talking about. I'm so lucky to find an amazingly beautiful girl who'll stand by my side and not keep me in the shadows! 

She's someone who is open and unafraid to show her love for me to the world (she doesn't have to use code words on her fb so that only I would know who's the special one she's talking about ). I'm that special to my gf, I'm in a real relationship and no secrets (she doesn't need to adjust her fb settings to let me be the only one to know what and who she is to me)! I have a great girl who doesn't lead a double life, she makes me feel so happy and secure! I have a real and true woman!! I can't thank enough the above for bringing someone into my life who I deserved. God loves me, that's why he brought me an angel in my life!

Below is a pic of my gorgeous gf on cam, blushing because I was flirting and teasing her. She was trying to hide her face, she's so adorable! Also below are her sweet text messages and sweet Skype messages before we got on cam and afterwards when we hung up. I can read these messages over and over again. <3