Fashion junkie

The girl got taste and she has a great sense of style. Her clothes and heels are freaking hot as hell I love talking to my sweet green eyes, I don't like having to say good night to her. I want her 24 hrs!!! Can't wait for her to make my day with her humor, sweetness and hotness later on today!

Can't hold my head and eyes open any longer.

Going to sleep to have some sweet dreams <3

Compliments to the chef

My sweet green eyes loves to cook, so she will be making her most colorful dish for me. So awesome, is there anything else that this girl can't do? She said that she will try her best to amaze me, but I've been pretty fucking amazed from the day we first met. And my amazement for her keeps on growing! <3

I'm so into her...<3

It's like I'm on a smile high. I can't stop smiling and biting my lip, this feeling is seriously better than I could have ever felt before. To explain it the best way, it's like having a starbuck's white mocha latte, but the hyperness fades after awhile. This hyperness that I have, just keeps on going and going...!!!

I can't wait to see her new creme dress and heels that she fell in love with, I'm sure it's going to look amazing. I love how she's a professional athlete that can kick ass (and for sure protect me) but then she turns into this really beautiful feminine woman that has everything going for her. Yet she doesn't hold back and she's not afraid to hide anything. I admire her truly! Shes not just another pretty face, my sweet green eyes pretty much has it all! =]

That saying: Love like you've never been hurt, dance like no ones watching...

I literally danced my ass off (in a tank and my Calvin Kline underwear) to lady gaga's, Edge of Glory (btw my new fav song) this morning, which appropriately fits my situation!!!

I'm so thankful (I understand now what that means).

Confidence is key!

I got a new attitude =]

My heart skips a beat

My sweet green eyes is constantly on my mind. I love how she is. She's funny, charming, intelligent, sweet, fun and the list goes on. I love how she wears skirts...she's really sexy! I love her athletic bod and of course her sweet green eyes!

I love the way she makes me feel...

and I can't stop smiling about it =]

Horoscopes don't lie

Freedom

My sweet green eyes' exams are over and she can finally relax and spend more time with me! She went out with her friends tonight so I'm hoping she had a great time. Can't wait to talk to her hasta mañana!

Im going to be a different person and not be so controlling. I know it's not good behavior so, I know that's going to change. I learned that way doesn't work well and it's not good. I mean my ex, Radek, was controlling and I couldn't stand it. I should know better. You live, you learn and you take the experience and use better judgement for the next time.

Of course I will make sure to trust. She's someone new so, I'm going to give 100% complete trust in her. I can't be afraid because of what happened to me in the past. People shouldn't be treated the same because what happened previously. I need to be fair. And I'm fully sure that she wouldn't try to do something that both her and I know would hurt one another.

What I know is that she makes me smile

and...

I can't stop thinking about her =]

Here's to the future!

Perfect romance

Everyone is a winner

Bulls lost, Derrick choked and I feel they also got cheated. We still finished big. We have the MVP of the year and coach of the year. We will come back and we will be even better than ever! It sucks to lose, but I'm still a winner. I get to talk to my sweet green eyes who will make it all the better =] Yes I have a smile permanently tattooed on my face ( I realized it made random people smile back at me yesterday too for no reason). <3

Better in time

I started crying again today on the train, but this time it wasn't because I was hurt, but because the pain has gone. And that I am so blessed to have this wonderful person enter my life. I can smile and it feels so amazingly good. I really thought I was so unlucky. God works in weird ways, but he won't leave you hanging. Really, you must go through the storm before the rain washes up and then the sun comes out and begins to shine again. =]

Mood REAL BIG:

Winning!!!!

Point for me!! It's a great Thursday after all! I didn't think that I could find another one that would make feel so happy! That's all I want in life, seriously, I don't ask for much. Sometimes people have to not be afraid to let go, because if you hold on too long - you don't realize that there is something else out there. It isn't the end of the world. So really things do happen for a reason and I prayed each day to get better and I prayed hard for the pain to go away. That was not healthy and I don't like losing myself. I am a somebody after all! =]

She made my day...

She makes me feel like floating on cloud 9. I love talking with my sweet green eyes, she really makes my day and night. She has the sweetest smile ever! I love her sarcasm, she's got a great sense of humor.

She cracked me up so hard saying..."oh the 'just friends' line...they probably think it's another word for, I'm cheating on you but I don't have the guts to tell you so!" Thinking about it, still makes me laugh. I can't stop smiling, without a doubt, she makes me forget about all the bad things.

Can't wait to talk to her again tomorrow. She's amazingly awesome. I just can't get enough! <3

Serendipity? =]

So we've gotten to talk on an even deeper level today. I'm so glad that her ex cheated on her because then I wouldn't have this opportunity to have met her. And of course I don't like the fact that she got cheated on(I would not want anyone to ever feel that pain EVER!) I'm just so happy that she's the one putting the smile back on my face. I'm so glad that she won't want to get back with her after her begging. Point pour moi!

80/20 Rule

Interesting quote from the movie 'Why did I get married?

In most cases, especially in relationships, you will only get 80% of what you NEED and you will hardly get the other 20% that you WANT in your relationship. There is always another person (man or women) that you will meet and that will offer you the other 20% which is lacking in your relationship that you WANT And believe me, 20% looks really good when you are not getting it at all in your current relationship.

But the problem is that you will always be tempted to leave that good 80% that you know you have, thinking that you will get something better with the other 20% that you WANT

But as reality has proven, in most cases, you will always end up with having the 20% that you WANT and loosing the 80% that you really NEED and that you already had.

Be careful in deciding between what you WANT and NEED in your life.

Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don't have.

Somewhere along the way, you'll find a woman or a man who will be more charming or sensitive. More alluring. More thoughtful. Richer. Have greater appeal. And you will find a woman or man who will need you and pursue you and go loco over you more than your partner ever did.

Because no wife or husband/girlfriend boyfriend is perfect. Because a partner will only have 80% of what you're looking for. So adultery takes place when the person looks for the missing 20%.

You may find yourself drawn to the pretty clerk who has a cherry laugh no matter what she says: 'I broke my arm yesterday, Hahahaha . . ..'

Or because your other half is a homebody in slippers and pajamas, smelling of garlic and fish oil, you may fall for a fresh-smelling young sales representative that visits your office in a sharp black blazer, high heels, and a red pencil-cut skirt Or because your husband is the quiet
type, your heart may skip a beat when you meet an old college flame who has the makings of a talk show host.

But wait! That's only 20% of what you don't have.

Don't throw away the 80% that you already have!

That's not all. Add to your partner's 80% the 100% that represents all the years that you have been with each other. The storms you have weathered together. The unforgettable moments of sadness and joy as a couple. The many adjustments you have made to love the other. The wealth of memories that you've accumulated as lovers.

Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don't have.

But faithfulness happens when you start thanking God for what you already have.

But I'm not just talking about relationships.

I'm talking about life!

About your jobs.
About your friends.
About your children.
About your lifestyles.

Are you like the economy airline passenger that perennially peeks through the door of the first class cabin, obsessed with what he's missing? 'They have got more leg room! Oh my, their food is served in porcelain! Wow, their seats recline at an 80% angle and they've got personal videos!'

I guarantee you'll be miserable for the entire trip! Don't live your life like that. Forget about what the world says is first class. Do you know that there are many first class passengers who are miserable in first class -- because they are not riding in a private Lear Jet?

The main message???

If you start appreciating what you have right now, wherever you are, you are first class!

DO NOT LOOK BACK AND ASK WHY, LOOK FORWARD AND ASK WHY NOT

Seriously WTF

I am so down that the Bulls lost. They could have won this game. I have such a major headache. I just need her to bring my spirits up. Can't wait to talk again tomorrow so I can forget this night. I know she will, she always does. What a heartbreak this is, Bulls what happened? =[

<3 Sweet.

That's my ouchie...

A new chapter begins

<3

Feeling alive all over again

That's how she makes me feel! I was in such a great mood on a Monday and smiling like I used to. People could see how happy I looked and there wasn't anything that could get me down. She is so sweet and I'm so glad that she came into my life. We had some major flirting going on and I wasn't holding back.

Her and I are similar and so compatible. I can't stop thinking about her and it's such a compliment that she thinks highly of my taste in music. I love that we are becoming closer and that her exam week will finally come to an end. I just want to get to know her more and more and more. I can't stop thinking about her.

This song totally fits my circumstances with her now and how I feel. Amazeballs <3

First Time

We're both looking for something
We've been afraid to find
It's easier to be broken
It's easier to hide

Looking at you,holding my breath,
For once in my life,I'm scared to death,
I'm taking a chance,letting you inside.

Feeling alive all over again,
As deep as the sky, under my skin
Like being in love, she says
For the first time
Maybe I'm wrong,
But I'm feeling right where I belong
With you tonight
Like being in love
To feel for the first time

The world that I see inside you
Waiting to come to life
Waking me up to dreaming
Reality in your eyes

Looking at you,
Holding my breath,
For once in my life
I'm scared to death,
I'm taking a chance,
Letting you inside.

I'm feeling alive all over again
As deep as the sky that's under my skin
Like being in love, she says, for the first time
Maybe I'm wrong, I'm feeling right
Where I belong with you tonight
Like being in love to feel for the first time

We're crashing
Into the unknown
We're lost in this
But it feels like home

I'm feeling alive all over again
As deep as the sky that's under my skin
Like being in love, she says, for the first time
Maybe I'm wrong, I'm feeling right
Where I belong with you tonight
Like being in love to feel for the first time

I can fly...I can reach the sky!

I'm feeling right!

Bullshit

I have a major headache from the Bulls game tonight. If I can just talk longer with sweet green eyes, then she'll make me forget about the game and feel better. I guess I'll just sleep early and sleep it off. I hope for some sweet dreams tonight <3

Taking care of business

Yes!

So now my company is registered and all with the state of Illinois. I'm ready to get the business rolling here and internationally! I've been told not only through this horoscope, but from people that my business will do well. This is just the beginning and I'm ready to reach the top, doing what I love to do!

My friend says my card is so me. Girly with a bit of edginess. =]

Pampering

Had a mani and a pedi yesterday. Felt so good to treat myself. I like it.

Opening my heart <3

So I can't wait for sweet green eyes' exams to finally be over...so we can talk lots and lots more. I'm being patient. I like her a lot, I'm not used to skinny girls, but I'll make an exception. I do like things to grab and well she lost more weight (but whatever) I love talking to her and she's (sigh) a hottie! Her bff doesn't hate me, so that is a good thing. I guess we'll see what happens. I can see myself falling for this girl. =]

The way we were

So I had a lot of time to think before I could write my thoughts since Wednesday the 18th, 2011. It took me awhile to write this, I know I've thought of a lot more about things that I can't fit everything on here. I've gone through a mix of emotions, since it was the first time that Sofia and I had talked since 2 months ago. I was shocked and pleased to hear from her. It was nice to talk with her without having to argue (happens in broken relationships). It felt good and it made me smile. I felt that things were cool with her and that we could now be civil.

In another way it was kind of weird talking to her, the one that I love, as just one person who used to be something and now just her ex (that very few people knew). Sometimes it's like, I didn't exist. I was her first, wished I was her last girl. I know that she loves someone else (I know Sofia). It hurts, but what can I do. Her heart didn't belong to me, it kept running somewhere else. If that's who she wants, I can't change it.

Of course hearing from her again will always have that warmth I feel about her in my heart. You can't just turn things off that easily when you love someone (well for me). There's always going to be that feeling in my heart, the little ache I have for Sofia. I know that her breaking my heart has changed me and I won't ever be the same. Sofia took a huge piece of my heart and I always will love her. Adele's 21 cd relates to our relationship.

I was talking to my friend about her and I and he asked how long we've been broken up. We were on the subject of relationships. I told him since October (fuck September - I just know). I said it was October (but it could have been before that - I was just oblivious to the signs). He said, "holy shit, it's been awhile, I thought it was shorter than that." (It doesn't seem that long ago).

He was telling me how hard it was for him to tell Shelly how he was feeling and having to break up with her. He said that she knew Aileen was in the picture, but she didn't know they were sleeping together. He said that she had a feeling but she didn't tell him, but he thinks she knew. I was like of course she knew, we have that intuition when there is something wrong and we just know and don't have to say anything at all. You just know.

He was explaining about how he couldn't have sex with Shelly, he tried and he couldn't feel it. He told her to get off and he just felt wrong about it (he didn't want her - he felt icky). When he said that, I had a flashback. I said so why did you cheat? He was explaining how it just happens. He says that you just start fooling around with a person and it's all fun until you start having emotions and things get complicated.

The girl he was with was even engaged to someone, but then she began to have feelings for him. That got me down. I said, "well when you told Shelly the truth did you at least feel better about yourself?" He said that he was so glad he got it off his chest, but it was just the hardest thing to look her in the eye because she was asking him why. I'm proud of him for being a man and admitting the truth. Our conversation ended when his agent called him.

Relationships are tough and when you think you know, you really don't know for sure. Tough part, anything can happen no matter how much you invest in a relationship. So I was cleaning out my room and found this postcard. The good 'ol days...the way we were.

The way we were

Mmm. Mmm.
Memories, light the corners of my mind
Misty watercolor memories of the way we were.
Scattered pictures of the smiles we left behind
smiles we give to one another
for the way we were.
Can it be that it was all so simple then
or has time rewritten every line?
If we had the chance to do it all again
tell me would we? Could we?

Memories, may be beautiful and yet
what's too painful to remember
we simply choose to forget
So it's the laughter we will remember
whenever we remember
the way we were.

Kiss the rain

The rain reminds me of one of the happiest moments in my life, when I went to the UK. It was new, exciting and I was anxious at the same time. That was the first time that I ever felt a connection with someone who at first I was freaked out (only cuz that's how I am around people I have a thing for) but I was so comfortable in my skin. It was the first time I felt a real love, a true love, the kind of love that you'd give up your world and trade it all to inhale this extraordinary feeling. It was the kind of love that you'd risk losing everything for and even dying for that person. That is how strong I felt. The rain reminds me of those amazing days. I don't regret one bit of it.

It's Monday!

And I don't care that is because I'm feeling so good! It's such a great day even if the weather became so freaking cold again. I'm making great conversations, making people laugh and just so insanely happy! That's all I asked for, who doesn't want to feel this way. I love being on the happy drug! Shoot it up me over and over again. I'm high on happiness!

What a small world

So yesterday I went to my training, instead of going to the corporate building I went to the person's house. We've been emailing back and forth and talking to each other on the phone. Yesterday I met up with her for the first time. I arrived at the house and couldn't find the doorbell because the house was being rebuilt. I was about to call Lisa and the door opens with this guy. He introduces himself and lets me know Lisa went to get donuts and coffee and will be right back. Then I get a call from Lisa and she tells me to go right in once I get there. I told her I was already inside.

So I'm talking to this guy and we got into the conversation of where both of us has been living. He was living in the same area I was living. I told him that I went to Wheeling High school and he said that he did too.I asked what year, 96 same year as me. I couldn't recognize him because he is bald now (he told me I look so young)! Then I heard the name and I knew who he was. He told me his wife was 2 year grade below us and then I saw her from outside the window. I said, "oh I know her." we both played soccer on a team together. How weird How after 15 years we meet again. Small world huh?

I'm gonna crash, eyes shutting down. Night

That is me!

Yo quiero Mexican...

A few minutes ago Chanel, my dog, got a hold of my leftover Mexican food. I went to try to get her away from it and ended up getting bitten. I put some ointment on it, but it looks bad. It has 5 little tooth marks and it looks all bruised up. I'm going to have to wear my watch all the time now, specially when I'll be taking photos with my clients. It's not a pretty sight I tell ya! I wish it would just go away. It stings too. :(

We are on the same page =D

My Ms. Feminine Beauty and I think a lot alike. Thoughts on butches (gross):

I feel strongly about this, if you are a girl going for a butch girl, might as well be with a man! Some people just don't realize that they just have totally downgraded. EW! Love is blind, but damn...that's just fucking blind! Makes me laugh.

Tea Lady

So I went to this tea lady last year with a friend of mine. I only paid $50 for an hour reading. It was pretty cheap, I want to go back to her soon. What she does is heat up the tea while she small talks with you. She also measures my energy before the tea. Then I have to make a wish right before I begin to drink the tea. So we sit there, it's like a little tea party and I'm drinking this tea. It has some special herbs or flowers, something like that in there. I'm not really crazy about the taste (kind of makes me throw up a little in my mouth-ha not my cup of tea), but oh well it's the reading I'm interested it. So after I drink this tea that seems like forever, I turn it upside down. After a little bit, she starts reading my cup.

All the things that she had told me had come true. I know she's really good too because she mentioned things that I never even told her about. Like my break up with Sofia and other things. Also about my mom, she was telling me about her losing her job etc. She's amazeballs! She went on about other people and so on. It's just too much to explain on here. I didnt even mention anything, just drank the tea. All I know is, it was a great experience and at the end she told me that my wish will come true. AlI I wonder is if it will all follow through. We shall see. I can't wait to go see her again!

Common Excuses for cheating

So I was reading about cheating. I know that things happen in a relationship that causes another person to drift off and fall for another, who gives them the attention that they longed for that their current relationship is lacking. Although, it doesn't make it right to go behind a person's back because they are unhappy or feel unfulfilled. Why cheat? Why not just leave and stop making excuses. Must be nice when you can have your cake AND eat it too. Selfish much? People need to grow up and take responsibility for their actions.

Some things to help people out better in situations like this, read below.

Excuses are just words:

No Justification, No Simple Reasons

Why the other person cheated on you is something you may never really know for sure. There are no simple answers or reasons. There are lots of excuses given by cheaters.

You are Not to Blame (I would constantly blame myself)

If your significant other has been cheating on you, realize that you are not to blame, you are not a mind reader, and although the two of you were in the same relationship together, your partner made the decision to cheat.
People who are unfaithful are selfish. It is easier for them to cheat and to leave than it is to work on their relationship.

Don't Obsess Over Excuses

Don't obsess over the excuses you may hear from your unfaithful partner. They are just words and personal justifications for your partner's hurtful behavior.
Regardless of the reasons given for being unfaithful, the bottom line is that your significant other has cheated.

An Affair Doesn't Mean the End of a Relationship

That doesn't mean your relationship is doomed. It does mean that your relationship needs help. Whether or not your relationship can survive infidelity depends on whether or not you both are willing to seek counseling and to move forward. (It's not only one to blame, it takes two to tango).

The It's All your Fault Type of Cheating Excuses

Here are some of the "It's All Your Fault" type of cheating excuses.
I've told you for years why I was unhappy, but you decided to not do anything about it.
You work too much.
I thought you would change.
You don't listen to me.
You aren't good in bed.
You don't give me any attention.
I'm tired of having to do everything around here.
You don't need me anymore.
You put on too much weight.
You cut your hair.
You pressured me too much for sex so it wasn't fun with you anymore.
You were never really there for me when I needed you.
It has nothing to do with you.
It's not you, it's me.
I'm unhappy.
I need some space.
I really don't know what I want to do with my life.
I never cheated before but something just snapped.
I want to stand on my own two feet.
The other guys goaded me on and I didn't want to look like a sissy.
I have issues.
I don't why why I did it. It wasn't planned.
I didn't expect to get caught.
I'm having a mid-life crisis.
I'm not happy. I haven't been happy for years.
I never meant to hurt you.
It's in my nature to cheat.
It's just a guy thing.

Here are some of the "Grass is Greener" type of cheating excuses.
I need to have sex with others. I can't go the rest of my life sleeping with just you.
The sex is incredible. It was never that good with you.
I want to start a rock band and I would be gone a lot. That wouldn't be fair to you.
It's an addiction.
I can't help myself.
It doesn't mean anything.
It just happened.
He/She has an unhappy relationship, and I was filling an emotional void in his/her life.
We were just friends.
I was curious what sex with someone else would be like.

I can't keep my eyes open or think. I'm off to crash. G'night, actually Good Morning....

If you love someone, don't hide it

Many same sex couples feel that they need to keep their love and their relationship hidden due to the many prejudices that still seem to hang around these days. This is something that can be so hard to do. It can also go a long way in ruining what can possibly be something so beautiful if only you didn’t feel you needed to hide it.

There will always be people that aren’t going to approve of the way you live your life. So what? It is YOUR life and not theirs, and is really none of their business what you do. As long as you’re not hurting yourself or others, you should be left in peace to enjoy the love that you’ve found. However, sadly, many times that’s not the way things work and you’ll have to learn how to blow off the ignorance of some people.

Too often, these people are members of your own family. These are the ones that should be encouraging you to be happy in your life and in your relationship. It’s very hard for you to realize that your own flesh and blood are willing to stand in your way and risk losing you just to have what THEY feel is best and most appropriate. It’s a sad situation when this happens.

In spite of all of that, when you truly love someone, and are happiest when you are with that person, you must have the courage to come out in the open, and show off how happy you are. You need to let others in on the secret love that you’re sharing with a very special person. Love is meant to be enjoyed and reveled in. Not hidden away from your social networks, your family and friends to only refer to your loved one by a secret code or as your bestest friend, that is meant only for them to understand. Don't leave them secluded, make them feel special as well. Tell all who you love and be proud!

Don’t let people discourage you from feeling the happiness that you know is different from anything you’ve ever experienced in your life. If it’s your friends that are being critical, find some new friends. You may need to even give your family members the chance to be a part of your life or not. Just remember that people with your best interests at heart are the ones that will be as happy for you as you are for yourself.

Obviously, if you’re involved with a potential serial killer or chronic bank robber, someone SHOULD talk you out of it. However, when your love is simply someone that is the same sex as you, there’s no reason for anyone to be unaccepting of it. If they aren't accepting of your relationship, too bad. Self-centered people that only care about what they want aren’t those you should listen to. They just want you to do what they see as right. Deep down, they don’t really care about you and your happiness.

Therefore, bring your love out into the open and proclaim your feelings from the highest rooftops. When you find someone to love and who returns your love, even if that person is of the same sex as you, it’s something to celebrate. Don’t hide your love because you fear what others will say and think. In the end, it really doesn’t matter. If you love someone, share it with the world!

As Lady Gaga sang it well:

Rejoice and love yourself today
'Cause baby you were born this way
No matter gay, straight, or bi,
Lesbian, transgendered life
I'm on the right track baby
I was born to survive
No matter black, white or beige
Chola or orient made
I'm on the right track baby
I was born to be brave

Love is a battlefield

I'm kind of feeling like I'm in limbo. It's as if I'm just floating and not knowing where to go and how to feel. Is it better to start from scratch and let your guard down to risk the chance of getting hurt once again? Or is it better to build walls then to build bridges. I really don't know, I'm feeling kind of lost right now.

I'm afraid of getting hurt because I was hurt several times in the past. I know that I shouldn't let my fears rule how I live my life, but I don't want to make myself become vulnerable again. I was trying to take that risk and let myself fall freely, but what if I'm committing myself to the wrong person and end up where I started? I just don't ever want to cry like I had before because I put my everything into one person and then they turned their back on me and walked away. Harsh.

I really don't ask for much. Beauty (feminine beauty that is), brains and a heart as big as mine. I still believe my heart is still around, somewhere there beneath the earth, buried deep within the layers. The hard part is, if I will ever find the one who will move my world. If I was picky before, I am going to be even more pickier, now more than ever.

Love is a battlefield

Don't try to explain your mind
I know what's happening here
One minute it's love
And suddenly it's like a battlefield

One word turns into a war
Why is it the smallest things that tear us down?
My world's nothing when you don't
I'm not here without a shield
Can't go back now

Both hands, tied behind my back with nothing
Oh no, these times when we climb so fast to fall again
Why we gotta fall for it now

I never meant to start a war
You know I never wanna hurt you
Don't even know what we're fighting for

Why does love always feel like a battlefield
A battlefield, a battlefield?
Why does love always feel like a battlefield
A battlefield, a battlefield?
Why does love always feel like

Can't swallow our pride
Neither of us wanna raise that flag
If we can't surrender then we both gonna lose
What we had, oh no

Both hands tied behind my back with nothing
Oh no, these times when we climb so fast to fall again
I don't wanna fall for it now

I never meant to start a war
You know I never wanna hurt you
Don't even know what we're fighting for

Why does love always feel like a battlefield
A battlefield, a battlefield?
Why does love always feel like a battlefield
A battlefield, a battlefield?

I guess you better go and get your armor
(Get your armor)
Get your armor
I guess you better go and get your armor
(Get your armor)
Get your armor
I guess you better go and get your

We could pretend that we are friends tonight
(Oh, oh, oh)
And in the morning we'll wake up and we'll be alright
'Cause baby, we don't have to fight
And I don't want this love to feel like

A battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield
Why does love always feel like a battlefield
A battlefield, a battlefield

I guess you better go and get your armor

I never meant to start a war
You know I never wanna hurt you
Don't even know what we're fighting for
(Fighting, fighting for)

Why does love always feel like a battlefield
A battlefield, a battlefield?
Why does love always feel like a battlefield
A battlefield, a battlefield?

I guess you better go and get your armor
(Get your armor)
Get your armor
I guess you better go and get your armor
(Get your armor)
Get your armor

Why does love always feel like?
Why does love always feel like?
A battlefield, a battlefield

I never meant to start a war
Don't even know what we're fighting for
I never meant to start a war
Don't even know what we're fighting for

Chose these tulips

Sofia

This whole week and yesterday, I have been hearing that name from every person. It's wherever I go. What's up with that? All of a sudden it's like someone is playing some kind of joke on me. Or is someone trying to remind me something?

Last night, I turned into a house because I had turned into the wrong street. The owner had planted such beautiful tall tulips in the front of their house. It was pitch black at night and all that stood out were those tulips (Sofia's favorite flowers).

1am in the morning today, I was at the store for Mother's day, they also had a bunch of Tulips and my cousin made me chose one for her sister. Is there any meaning to this? Or am I just reading too much into it (her name and tulips)? It's just weird because I haven't heard that name used so much here. And it was one after another. Who keeps reminding me?

I crashed on the bed writing this blog, my whole sleeping schedule is messed up.

Lazy Day

So yesterday was my day that I just didn't want to to do anything at all. I got to sleep in, which felt good being able to wake up late. I also got all emotional, I think Tom is coming soon. Damn asshole.

I started the day late. Ran some errands and then showered and headed out to take some prom pics of my niece and her friends. I was treated to dinner, had some yummy steak from TGIF, while watching the Bulls murder the Hawks! Now I'm still up and I have a busy busy day ahead. I should sleep!

I'm going to try now, I'm starting to have a headache.

Their loss

So last month I interviewed with a Marketing company for a production artist position - didn't get it, I was disappointed but then later became fine with it. A week later I had interviewed with George for Papadakis Photography for the assistant photographer and social coordinator position. I wanted that even more, I was confident I was going to get the job. I sent my thank you letter and then last week called him to follow up. The next day he calls back saying that he's still interviewing other people for the position. I take it that he's not interested in taking me on the team. Well their loss.

He said I wouldn't be taking pictures but assisting him on the shoots, setting up the social media and updating his website. I could have done that, but I guess it's not going to happen, at least not with him. It's alright because now I'm a photographer for two companies, which I take the pics and use my own creativity, instead of being behind the scenes and watching what I want to do. Which is so much better, don't you think? I want to be just like George and I'm achieving that. Mansion coming soon! Ha ha.

He's a self taught photographer and nationally and internationally known. I want to be just like him (I know I keep saying that - but it's true). His studio is right inside his house. Did I forget to mention, his house is a huge ass mansion! I am getting there, I will be there right with you, George.

Took a pic of his house. At first I thought I was at the wrong place because I was expecting a business building, not a real neighborhood with mansions surrounded everywhere! I will have the mansion and my studio, just that I don't I don't think I would stay in Chicago.

Check out the pic below:

Oink Oink

Why is it when you are talking with a guy, they end up ruining their image? So I was talking to this guy earlier and we were having a great conversation. Then out of nowhere he says, "I have a picture of my dick, if you want to see it sometime, tell me." WTF!!! EW!! Seriously why do guys think that any girl is attracted to that!?!

I'd just have to go totally gay after hearing this from another guy, yet again. Not even a straight girl would think that is attractive! And then they wonder why they are still single! Get a fucking clue! I'm just so disgusted, but I shouldn't be surprised by this now. Guys always open their mouth and end up sounding like a pig.

Oh boys, you all have to learn how to get some game.

What I like about her?!?

-educated
-determined
-feminine
-green eyes
-adrenaline junkie(like me!)
-loves to speed
-gorgeous
-accent <3
-European
-loyal
-open
-professional athlete
-Chicago Bulls Fan!!!!
-sweet

We've got a lot in common that makes us click. The fact that she's open about her sexuality and that her parents accept her is awesome. You would think from her background that they wouldn't accept it; wished my parents - more likely, my mom, would just come around to realizing that the important thing is for me to be happy.

Anyways I'm about to crash, I can't keep my eyes from closing. Zzzzzzz -_-

Back!!

=]

Random nothings

So I'm sitting here at Au Bon Pain chilling and enjoying the music. I read Thomas' text to me from this morning and it cracks me up (I'll post it later here). He's so gay ha ha. I just have such good thoughts and I love the fact I can smile again. And I'm missing her, I can't wait to hear what she thinks of my favorite movies that she had downloaded.

I think that it's cute that she wanted to watch them. So I watched Her favorite move, V for Vendetta. How could I have missed out watching this movie it has my Natalie Portman in it! Great movie btw and she's right, it has a good meaning.

So here's part of my gay friend Thomas' convo =D

Sounds good to me!

Changes

Things are moving along for me and it's going to be a busy busy month for me. I'm excited about it all. I was just re-reading the emails that were sent to me; I'm so glad to have met her. I didn't think I could actually meet someone who could bring a smile to my face.

I was at a point in my life that I had hit rock bottom. Every single day, I felt like ending it. It's crazy how one person can make such an effect on another. And then it takes another person to bring them back on their feet again. So I guess we'll have to see what happens. I'm just gonna take things one step at a time.

Green eyes.

Received another long email. I really enjoy reading them. I can't wait to see her upload her new soccer pics from yesterday. She should put more recent pics of her on her fb because she's gorgeous! Not to mention intelligent and sweet. <3

I'm tired. Need sleep. Good nighty night.

Hmmm

Love like you've never been hurt

Who would think I could feel this way again? Certainly not I. My heart skips a beat and I've got all butterflies in my stomach. I'm definitely flying on cloud 9. It's time that the pain has been kicked to the curb and now I feel this warmth in my heart. I can smile again =]

Sometimes the thought of something new is scary. We are afraid of letting go, because we question...what if? I don't question that anymore. I'm ready to fall in love again. I'm ready to be happy, because dammit I deserve it!

If I Fell In Love with You

If I fell in love with you
Would you promise to be true
And help me understand
'cause I've been in love before
And I found that love was more
Than just holding hands

If I give my heart to you
I must be sure
From the very start
That you would love me more than her

If I trust in you oh no please
Don't run and hide
If I love you too oh please
Don't hurt my pride like her
'cause I couldn't stand the pain
And I would be sad if our new love was in vain

So I hope you see love that I
Would love to love you
And that she will cry
When she learns we are two
'cause I couldn't stand the pain
And I would be sad if our new love was in vain

So I hope you see that I
Would love to love you
And that she will cry
When she learns we are two
If I fell in love with you yeah
No no no no no