Take it all

You would think with time that your pain would heal, but for me, my heart hurts just as much as the other times it was broken. Actually it hurts the most now, more than ever. It's worst than the first time and the second time she broke my heart. I have this heavy pain in my chest that keeps me from living life the same way I used to.

When she left me, she took everything with her. I miss her so extremely much, it kills me. If only I can feel the love and passion again of what we had, i'd be complete again. I remember the time I brought her to the airport and dropped her off for a second to check her bag in, the cop wouldn't let me stay. She said I couldn't even leave my car to let Sofia know that I had to circle around again because my car would get towed. I was so afraid I wasn't going to have a chance to say goodbye to her. I got in my car and drove as slow as possible, but she still wasn't there and I was crying uncontrollably. I was panicking trying to call her, but her phone was off. I texted her hoping she would know to turn her phone on to check to see if I tried to get a hold of her. I was freaking out because when I had to go back to the international terminal, it wasn't just around the corner. I was driving like a maniac so that I can say one last bye to my baby love. I was frantic going in circles trying not to get stopped by the police while my heart was dropping.

Finally as I reached the terminal, feeling like it was the end of the world, I smiled seeing her stand outside waiting for me. I opened the door with a big smile and she told me she was scared I left her. I said are you kidding me I wouldn't ever leave you like that (I kept my promise). We drove to the parking lot to hang out for a bit, while we waited for the last minutes of our precious time together in Chicago. We held each others hands as we were sad that we were soon about to part. She was in my arms and we had our last kisses. I kissed her all over her sweet face. The saddest part was having to drop her off again at the terminal, we had our last kisses and she walked away into O'hare airport leaving with my heart. It was the last sincere goodbye that I would have from her. (The feeling of leaving her in Greece the very last time I saw her in the flesh, didn't feel like Chicago or UK - completely different, I sensed it). Driving back to my house without her hand in my hand was the longest and loneliest drive back home. I fucking miss her like hell. I need her so much, I fucking love her like crazy. No one will ever understand me like she does :'(

I relate so much to many of Adele's song and this song below says it all...

Take it all

Didn't I give it all?
Tried my best,
Gave you everything I had,
Everything and no less,
Didn't I do it right?
Did I let you down?

Maybe you got too used to,
Having me around,
Still, how can you walk away,
From all my tears?
It's gonna be an empty road,
Without me right here,

But go on and take it,
Take it all with you,
Don't look back,
At this crumbling fool,
Just take it all,
With my love,
Take it all,
With my love,

Maybe I should leave,
To help you see,
Nothing is better than this,
And this is everything we need,
So is it over?
Is this really it?
You're giving up so easily,
I thought you loved me more than this,

But go on, go on and take it,

Take it all with you,
Don't look back,
At this crumbling fool,
Just take it all,
With my love,
Take it all,
With my love,

I will change if I must,
Slow it down and bring it home,
I will adjust,
Oh, if only,
If only you knew,
Everything I do is for you,

But go on, go on and take it,
Take it all with you,
Don't look back,
At this crumbling fool,
Just take it,
Take it all with you,
Don't look back,
At this crumbling fool,
Just take it all,
With my love,
Take it all,
With my love,
Take it all,
With my love.