Imgonnadiealone

I'm sitting here at the table at a buffet, feeling all alone again even though I'm surrounded by hundreds of people. I try real hard not to cry, but the tears I can't control. I try so hard to get into a happy mood, but I always end up so sad.

Charles came to work the other day and he told me that he was getting married. I laughed in his face, he wasn't joking. I guess he loves Jasmine, even though he cheated on her numerous times. He ended up back with her. He seems happier and it's the first time he didn't ask me about Rachel. He asked me, "weren't you engaged?" I looked down. He said, "it's a touchy subject isn't it?" I told him yes and he said sorry and not to hit him for asking.

Then at Nicole's potluck party, I found out Charlie got engaged too. He proposed to his girlfriend. Everyone asked how long has him and Greta been together, I listened closely because he was trying to ask me out at the time. He said 3 years. So it was the same time as long as Sofia and I had been together and it brought me down, yet again.

If I wanted to settle, I would go with each person that asks me out. I don't want really anyone. The one I crush, we are so similar but at the same time, we are still in love with our exes. She also reminds me of Sofia with her psychology majors, her job with children who have disabilities, the way she thinks and how she's always trying to help me. Although, we both suffer heartache and still wish that we could be back again with our loves. I'd just want her for comfort. I get such nice hugs from my guy friends, but I don't want to take it any further with them. I'm happy just being such good friends and that's about it.

I think if I don't kill myself, I will die alone. I'm so unhappy.

Without you

No I can't forget this evening
Or your face as you were leaving
But I guess that's just the way
The story goes
You always smile but in your eyes
Your sorrow shows
Yes it shows
No I can't forget tomorrow
When I think of all my sorrow
When I had you there
But then I let you go
And now it's only fair
That I should let you know
What you should know

I can't live
If living is without you
I can't live
I can't give anymore
I can't live
If living is without you
I can't give
I can't give anymore

Well I can't forget this evening
Or your face as you were leaving
But I guess that's just the way
The story goes
You always smile but in your eyes
Your sorrow shows
Yes it shows

I can't live
If living is without you
I can't give
I can't give anymore
I can't live
If living is without you
I can't give
I can't give anymore

(Oh, Can't Live, Can't Live) x2

I can't live
If living is without you
I can't live
I can't give anymore
I can't live
If living is without you
I can't give
I can't give anymore