Emo baggage

My friend told me he remembered when he first met me that he used to see me as this big smiley girl. He told me that I'm pretty and need to smile more. He was like now you look all depressed. He told me, "don't be emo." I don't know how to be that girl again. I don't feel pretty and I can't fully smile. I'm nothing but sadness and tears.

I fell so hard in love and it tore me to bits. I feel totally and utterly alone. My heart feels like it's always in my throat all the time and my eyes constantly tear. I hate that I can't control it and everyone can see me on the train wiping my tears and nose. I really don't know what to do. The one thing that always crosses my mind is how to end myself. Is that normal to think of everyday? I'll be fine for a moment and then I'll be down again. It's a constant cycle.

Coming back to Chicago got me all depressed again. Chicago reminds me too much of her and now more the fact that I'm without out her. Love takes such a major toll on me. You would think that a mental health psychologist wouldn't leave you all messed up, but that doesn't mean anything really. She could have been the Queen or the president and still I would feel the exact same - heartbroken.

Why does it hurt so bad? Because I'm so in love with her. I would go through everything again with her, the ups and downs, as long as I would have her ending up with me. My life is nothing without her, it's just all dull and grey. And where the smiles I used to have at any moment is now replaced with frowns and tears.

I remember when Sofia said that if I wasn't with her, she wouldn't know what to do and she would stay alone. Well that's how I'm feeling and it's painful. The one person who gave me life, took it all away just like that. I miss the one I love, so much. I cant breathe from all this crying. I just want to disappear.

6, 8 12

Ooh, ooh
Do you ever think about me?
Do you ever cry yourself to sleep?
In the middle of the night when you're awake,
Are you calling out for me?
Do you ever reminisce?
I can't believe I'm acting like this
I know it's crazy
How I still can feel your kiss

[1] - It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours
Since you went away
I miss you so much and I don't know what to say
I should be over you
I should know better but it's just not the case
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours
Since you went away

Do you ever ask about me?
Do your friends still tell you what to do?
Every time the phone rings,
Do you wish it was me calling you?
Do you still feel the same?
Or has time put out the flame?
I miss you
Is everything okay?

[Repeat 1]

It's hard enough just passing the time
When I can't seem to get you off my mind
And where is the good in goodbye?
Tell me why, tell me why

[Repeat 1]

Sing it for me
Ooh, ooh