Yesterday I was getting a headache from being mad. At work I was in such a spiteful mood. I started to contemplate about things that I had done for people; the ones dearly that I hold close to my heart. I started feeling completely unappreciated and used. It's just not fair to get the end of the stick, while being blamed and accused to look into myself for why things turned out the way they did. Why put all the fault on me? That is such a cowardly and selfish thing to do. Why must people be so prideful that they can't admit that they are to blame as well. If you mess up, well then fess up! My big fucking heart is so trusting, that people take advantage of it all the time. Sad, how mean people can turn out to be.
I watched teen mom last night and I was getting annoyed by this girl's relationship with her baby daddy. It's a pity how he had treated her. He was being so insensitive to her feelings as she was questioning who he was with and where he works. He cheated on her and he had the nerve to give her attitude. What he did, gave her a reason to feel and thin the way she did. All she was asking was to get some clarification and to make her not feel so insecure. Instead of assuring her, he was getting mad and telling her that she needs to make a change. Clearly, she loves him and instead of being able to talk things out and get to the bottom of things - he walks away.
Later on he starts acting like a jack ass and becomes distant to her. He tells her that he cheated 5 times in their relationship because of how she was. Well it doesn't make it right to cheat on someone if things aren't smooth sailing in a relationship. You don't run off to the next person who pays attention to you because you feel alone. You talk it out and break it off before you do things that would hurt the other person if they found out. Even if you felt many times that they hurt you or weren't giving you what you need, it's only fair to break up with the person from the moment you decided things weren't working out. That's the mature way of handling things.
If the person isn't treating you the way you think things should be then before you turn around and decide to only think about yourself - also remember the other person has feelings too. Maybe they hurt you, but doesn't mean you have to go and hurt them too. Two wrongs don't make a right. So what happened with the girl and her baby daddy was he walked out and left her again. She did everything for him. He was a free loader living in her house as she supported him. Sad thing was she even defended him against her bff who used to live with her first before she couldn't take him any longer and moved out. Her dad warned her and friends warned her about taking him back. She lost her friend over this good for nothing douche bag who didn't even give a shit. All because she loved him and thought he would change his ways. But he never changed, he was still the same jerk off to begin with. That was my gripe on that.
On a brighter note, I watched the reunion show of Jersey Shore. -It's the only thing that would make me happy and keep smiling for an hour every Thursday. I wasn't able to stay long enough to it because I had to leave. I didn't get to finish the show. I was kind of disappointed on that part.
Wow fell asleep writing this blog and now I'm late for work! Well I'm not going in. Fuck that!
Unfaithful
Story of my life, searching for the right
But it keeps avoiding me
Sorrow in my soul ?cause it seems that wrong
Really loves my company
He's more than a man and this is more than love
The reason that the sky is blue
But clouds are rolling in because I'm gone again
And to him I just can't be true
And I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying
I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Every time I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be a murderer
I feel it in the air as I'm doing my hair
Preparing for another date
A kiss up on my cheek, he's here reluctantly
As if I'm gonna be out late
I say I won't be long just hanging with the girls
A lie I didn't have to tell
Because we both know where I'm about to go
And we know it very well
?Cause I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying
I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Every time I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be a murderer
Our love, his trust
I might as well take a gun
And put it to his head
Get it over with
I don't wanna do this
Anymore, anymore
And I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
And every time I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
And I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be a murderer
A murderer, no no no
Yeah
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