So I got to see my amazingly beautiful gf last night and it's always a great day/night when I do. I showed her my awesome astrology book and she told me that it was the thickest astrology book she had seen. I went to read about her exact birthday and then more about the Taurus. So she would explain what was true and which ones were off. Some real facts about my Taurus babe is she's stubborn, jealous and loyal <3. Loyalty is very important to me, because the biggest turn off for me is a girl who'll go off behind my back to be with another. Once that happens, that's a wake up call to not even look back on a girl who does that, ever. Well that was getting off the subject. So my baby said to go on and read about Libras, I told her if she wants me to go onto more details about the Taurus and she said no it's boring...I want to hear about Libras.
I was reading the part where it was saying about my character: Others rely on you and trust your unfaltering allegiance. This faithfulness, can be withdrawn as quickly as it was given, though, especially if you are lied to or betrayed. I told my babe that was entirely true. I went on explaining to her examples that I won't get into because it's a lot to write about and I'm lazy to talk about things that piss me off. I read about how I am when I'm in love, it explains: that I give my heart but not all of it; that I have a problem with trust even when I'm swept away by love or infatuation. She asked me if that is true, I said no not at all because when I'm in love I give my everything and that's why when I am betrayed...it hurts. And well that happened only once, I was in love for the first time before Lila mu. I told my gf that it was fine what my ex did to me because then I wouldn't have been with her. She said to me that it didn't have to happen that way and I still could have met her - she was like, all you had to do was break up with her. My baby smiled and I couldn't say anything about it because, at the time, I was still holding on to something that was long gone. I love my baby's logic about things not only in relationships but other things as well. She's so refreshing and I'm so in love with her! Oh yeah, also it was saying in my horoscope that I like to cook natural foods, etc. I told my babe that it wasn't true because I can't cook. She said that's ok, I can cook (she says she's a really good cook)! So it works out. We fit each other perfectly! =]
I told my baby that the relationship just got me so depressed. I didn't want to do anything, I wasn't myself and all I did was sleep. I didn't want to get up from the bed or even eat. I told her my ex bff was coming over to try to cheer me up. She would come over to the house and make me food and force me to get me to eat. She would also try to get me out of my mood by making me play the game she brought, Guitar Hero. I told my gf I was at the point that I really didn't want to live anymore, I was a bit teary when I was telling me gf this - it touched an emotional spot. My gf told me that there should be no reason for me to ever feel that way, she kept explaining that no one should ever affect me to that point.
Then my baby told me that she got me something and had to show me. She said she couldn't wait to send it to me. She showed me this awesome present that I had been wanting and didn't get it because I wasn't able to find it (I won't say what it is until I get it - that's for my other blog). She told me she had to get it because it screamed - Cheryl! =] I was smiling so hard and told her, aw babe thank you sooo much and told her that I've been wanting that. She was smiling huge, she told me she couldn't wait because she wanted to see the reaction on my face. She really happily surprised me! You don't know how happy my girl makes me!
I asked my babe about having jaundice when I was a baby, if it would affect my liver. She told me that would be something she would have to ask her dad because he deals with babies because he delivers them. She said she thinks it has something to do on how long I was in the hospital when I had it. She said that if I was only under the incubator for a few hours than I should be ok. I told her that I stayed in the hospital for days. She said that if that is the case then she is not allowing me to drink anymore. I told my babe, what about wine? She told me that all I will be drinking is non alcoholic beer and wine. She said that maybe I'll even just be drinking water. She told me that I can't ever drink again. Man my baby is really strict. I'm going to bring the coffee patron anyways to Aberdeen and see if she'll allow me to drink that with her and her friends.
So my gf asked me if I had written down any questions I have for her (since I'm always forgetting when we are talking). I said to my gf that I didn't get to have an answer about what relationship had hurt her the most. She told me that there were 2 her first gf (which was the model that she was telling me about before) and Eirini. She said they were both two different kinds of pain. My gf told me that she was with this girl for 4 years. My gf was 16 and the girl was 22. She met her while in a rehab clinic (my gf was anorexic & the other girl was addicted to coke). She told me that when she was 20 she went off with this guy because she was trying to prove to herself that she was straight. She was with this Chris guy for only 3 weeks (and if you read my other blog he was the guy who she thought that he was going to hit her with a table when she told him that she was completely gay). Well my gf said that one day she had her phone on the bed and she left it there because she was taking a shower. She didn't expect anyone to pick up her phone. My gf said that day the phone rang and Chris picked it up and it was her gf. She asked Chris who he was and he told her that he was the bf. Her gf was so angry and went crazy. My gf said she was trying to calm her down, but she wasn't having it. My gf said, and to make matters worse - she OD'd on my birthday. I could see in my baby's eyes that it was a painful topic for her to talk about. She said after that happened, she just began drinking a lot and not caring about anything - she said that she didn't like who she was at the time.
My baby realized that she was completely gay and the guy she was with she didn't even care about him at all. She said her ex gf's mom told her that she had control of the girl's will and that my gf wasn't going to get any of it. My gf said she didn't even care about that and was telling her mom that she wasn't interested in that. She told me that she was always in relationships that she wasn't #1 and with that girl, cocaine was first before her. I asked my gf how many relationships has she been in, she said which number do you want? Do you want the number of serious relationships or how many she's been with. I told her, I wanted to know both. She told me real relationships she had been in was 3. Then she told me the woman she had been with was 14, which got me a little jealous because I started visualizing all these random girls that had been with my baby. At the same time, I was happy that she wasn't with them and she is with me and that my baby has a lot of experience. Since she's got a lot of experience, I hope that I can live up to what she expects because I was pretty much sure that I can satisfy her like no other =D. My baby told me that she is a gold star, that made me one happy girl! For all of you who are not familiar with this term, gold star means a girl who's never slept with a man (that's very rare). I love it a lot! I honestly wish I was because no man had ever satisfied me like a woman had. Guys just don't know how to please a woman. You can argue all that you want with me about it boys, but it's true you are only out there to please yourself and you can't last. Boys, even if you did last, you couldn't do much for me because I don't feel a thing - at all! Also, I wouldn't want to be proven wrong, because it doesn't interest me.
I told my gf about the first time she broke up with me because she said she was in love with another girl. I told her I was with my cousin and parents playing bingo (which I rarely do because I hate it - but I wasn't caring because all I was thinking of was my baby). I told her at the time she texted me, I won a game and I was so happy and then I read her text that caught me off guard. I told her I was in tears and I had to walk away because everyone was questioning why I was sad when I should be happy that I won. My babe apologized to me deeply. She said that she really didn't love the girl, she said the girl was her ex gf's bff. She was like, do you see the connection? I said yes, she said she was just doing this to get back at her ex for doing what she had done to her. I said that I completely understand. When my gf broke up with me this time, I was so hurt but she was completely honest with me that I didn't question her. That's why I can completely trust my babe, she didn't deny anything or make me feel like a fool.
I told my gf that in the beginning she was giving me mixed signals and I couldn't understand her. I told her that I wasn't going to tell her how I felt about her and just keep it inside, but then she gave me her number and she got me to open up about my feelings for her (she was smiling). She said that when she gives out her number that it's really good thing. She told me in the beginning I was just someone to get over her ex and she didn't think it'd be hard to deal with me because I was far away. Fate stepped in and we both ended up falling for one another. I told my gf that in a long time, she was the first one to make me change and believe in love again. I told her that I didn't think I could find another and was deciding that maybe girls wasn't for me and that I should try to go straight and make everyone else happy. She told me that she was so happy that she was the one to change that for me. She was smiling and was giving me this googly eyes look, I wanted to kiss her so bad. So she told me that she had to go to sleep - even though she didn't want to. She said, babe we'll talk tomorrow ok? I said alright babe and told her to remind me about Javier the Spanish guy. She wrote it down and we blew each other kisses and said our sweet goodnights to each other.
Below are the texts from my baby. Also after the texts and skype messages are the pics that my babe took of the project she's working on with diabetes. She was explaining to me about each pic - so sexy how knowledgeable she is with the subject. It's amazing and how much it costs for the school to use such a tool for pictures. Also it's crazy how much they spend on student's being in the lab. She said it's 20 pounds per hr so she couldn't stay in the lab too long. To check out the pics closer: just click to enlarge:
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