The thoughts again come back to my mind of what is my purpose on this planet. Everyday is just another day and time wasted of going all the way downtown for my job for no reason. I get up at the crack of dawn; the birds aren't even outside chirping yet. I get up the same time I used to get up to chat with my baby on Skype, since we live on two different time zones. Except she's not on Skype anymore waiting for me to talk with – well at least not waiting for me. So I go through my daily routine of getting ready so early in the morning to head out on my long train trip - and I'm not at all a morning person! My reason to trek from the burbs all the way to the city is pointless. (One of the plans was she was going to move from Greece to Chicago and we'd get a little apartment together by my job downtown). All it is now is just a big waste of time, but it really doesn't matter anymore since she doesn't really care anyways. Nothing really matters whatever it is I do. I have nothing. The love of my life left me and the sad fact is that what I knew all along was that I was never her first priority to begin with. While I dropped everything and everyone in my life to put her on a pedestal, sacrificed my part to do whatever it was to be with her. It was a red flag, that should have been the deal breaker but I was so blinded by love to even think that she'd leave me again. This time for good. I thought what we had was solid and nothing could break it. Doesn't the saying go, if you love someone, let them go? If they come back, they are yours forever? Well she came back to me, how come she's not mine to embrace forever? Being without her feels like an eternity of emptiness. What happened to all the things we planned and the promises she swore that she'd keep? Three years together, did I know her the way I thought I did? Or was I only seeing the side of her that I wanted to see?
How's Going to Be
I'm only pretty sure that
I can't take anymore
Before you take a swing
I wonder what are we fighting for
When I say out loud
I want to get out of this
I wonder is there anything
I'm going to miss
I wonder how it's going to be
When you don't know me
How's it going to be
When you're sure
I'm not there
How's it going to be
When there's no one there to talk to
Between you and me
Cause I don't care
How's it going to be
How's it going to be
Where we used to laugh
There's a shouting match
Sharp as a thumbnail scratch
A silence I can't ignore
Like the hammock by the
Doorway we spent time in swings empty
Don't see lightning like last fall
When it was always about to hit me
I wonder how's it going to be
When it goes down
How's it going to be
When you're not around
How's it going to be
When you found out there was nothing
Between you and me Cause I don't care
How's it going to be
And how's it going to be
When you don't know me anymore
And how's it going to be
Want to get myself back in again
The soft dive of oblivion
I want to taste the salt of your skin
The soft dive of oblivion oblivion
How's it going to be
When you don't know me anymore
How's it going to be
How's it going to be
How's it going to be
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