And hopefully last. Having to take photos brought my mental state down. I didn't expect to feel this way and thought I'd be able to handle a shoot for fetal demise babies since I'm used to all the blood and gore. It was the real thing and I got into the room to take photos and the room was dark the nurse was putting the sheet of blood into the bin and there the baby was laying under lights like an incubator. I was shaking and trying to hold in my tears, it was so sad. I know I've seen these things in movies but this was the real deal and I got so down. After the fotos, I walked out of the room crying. I don't know why it hit me so hard, I was crying even when I was driving. I had a major headache leaving the hospital...well until now. I don't know what I would be like if I were the mom and I'm not even the mom and I was so heartbroken. I wanted to talk to someone and then I wanted my baby to hold me tight in her arms. So sad ='[
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